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A review by stagasaurus
Fatal Secrets by Richie Tankersley Cusick
4.0
Reminds me of: 101 ways to meet Mr Right by Janet Quin Harkin.
"It was probably just a practical joke" moment: I don't think anyone actually said this.
"You probably just imagined it" moment: This happened constantly. No one had any faith in her sanity at all.
Innocent victims?: Yeah, Marissa was pretty innocent, in a Lois Lane kinda way. And Ryan had no clue what was going on.
How blindingly obvious?: It was blindingly obvious that Jinx was gonna be the love interest so I figured the rest would have to be got rid of somehow. Because no Point Horror girl can have a choice. The plot has to get rid of any alternative love interests for her. I liked their relationship, it felt far more realistic than other mawkish point horror dirge. As it was though, the floor was cleared of pretty much any man other than Jinx. I'm surprised Michael Kilmer, the Sheriff and Winchester's dad weren't in on it.
Charles. Well Charles was suspect from the first with the whole "you're the one who let her drown" business. (that was risky by the way - what if she'd told her Mum and he'd got thrown out on the first day? - better to have sucked up to everyone.) Then I started to think maybe he was just a red herring. But he was obviously the one who gave her the drugged cider. And he got all detective and I started to doubt him again because it was too early on for the red herring to be revealed.
Winchester. I had a real soft spot for him. Come on, the guy has a log cabin, coffee and bacon! And he's named after a rifle from the 19th Century. Or maybe I'm just easily pleased. Oh and did you notice his truck with the door that won't open from the inside?! Totally the truck from Freeze Tag. I bet after he went to jail, Winchester's dad sold the truck to West Trevor to help pay for the kid's school lunches. Oh and the bit where he said he'd only dated her sister to get near her? Lame, lame, lame.
Steve. Umm. Not totally believable that a university lecturer would double up as a drug dealer but I might be bitter because I didn't guess it. Looking back, I think there was a clue at the beginning about him having his own income.
Mr Partini. I've been listening to an Agatha Christie book tape in the car. So even though Mr Partini was supposed to be Italian, in my head he sounds Belgian. As it was, he was supposed to be more of a Count Fosco figure. (side note: could it be that The Woman in White was the very first Point Horror novel?) I thought his part was ridiculous. Who would start a career as a toy maker and then decide that actually your values and career path lead elsewhere and diverge into organised crime?
Plot holes / Unfinished plot lines: Let's all just admit that the only reason she was called Ryan was so Charles could pretend to be her at the drugstore picking up the photos.
Did I miss the bit where they explain how they made the ghosts and animated toys appear? It was a crazy complex plan for criminals to have. But then they are the weirdest gang of criminal misfits. I almost want to write a movie about their side of the story. I can hear the trailer voice. The fake student. The ex boyfriend. The College Professor / Step father. The Toymaker. You've never seen organised crime like it... You can just imagine the conversation back at base.
Charles "Well, the girl who knew about us is dead but she might have told her sister something."
Steve "I'm sleeping with her mother. Maybe we should just waste the kid."
Count Fosco "But the little Bambellina is so helpful in the shop while I deliver zee drugs - keep her, she is adorable"
Winchester "Umm. Yeah, I think we should keep her"
Charles "No one asked you, rifle boy. I have a better idea. I'll go move in with them -Steve, you provide me a fake background- then we'll all fake haunt her - Mr Partini can scare her with toys, I'll scare her with presents and a car, Steve can scare her with a snowman and Winchester can scare her with a real ghost."
Winchester "Where am I supposed to find a real ghost?"
Charles "That's your problem or your kid siblings get it. Stop interrupting. ... and everyone remember the ribbons, that's very important. Oh and I'll drug her with hot cider and dump her in the snow and pretend to run over Winchester's dog and Winchester can rescue her and the dog and then get all the truth out of her."
Winchester "What about when she realises I don't have a dog?"
Charles "She'll never question where the dog is or ask to see it or anything. Oh and I forgot that one of us has to keep dressing up in a ski mask and jacket. And one of us needs to chase her as Santa. Why is everyone staring at me? This is a foolproof plan. I can feel it."
I really did enjoy it though. The first half of the novel was all X files episode and the second half was all Steven Seagal movie. My favourite line
Inappropriate happy ending: Oh, my sister's still dead. And we still haven't found her body. Maybe we never will. But I've got a boyfriend and the boy she went out with was only interested in me anyway. So we're all good.
"It was probably just a practical joke" moment: I don't think anyone actually said this.
"You probably just imagined it" moment: This happened constantly. No one had any faith in her sanity at all.
Spoiler
She totally shouldn't have destroyed the snowman though - that was evidence Ryan!Innocent victims?: Yeah, Marissa was pretty innocent, in a Lois Lane kinda way. And Ryan had no clue what was going on.
How blindingly obvious?: It was blindingly obvious that Jinx was gonna be the love interest so I figured the rest would have to be got rid of somehow. Because no Point Horror girl can have a choice. The plot has to get rid of any alternative love interests for her. I liked their relationship, it felt far more realistic than other mawkish point horror dirge. As it was though, the floor was cleared of pretty much any man other than Jinx. I'm surprised Michael Kilmer, the Sheriff and Winchester's dad weren't in on it.
Charles. Well Charles was suspect from the first with the whole "you're the one who let her drown" business. (that was risky by the way - what if she'd told her Mum and he'd got thrown out on the first day? - better to have sucked up to everyone.) Then I started to think maybe he was just a red herring. But he was obviously the one who gave her the drugged cider. And he got all detective and I started to doubt him again because it was too early on for the red herring to be revealed.
Winchester. I had a real soft spot for him. Come on, the guy has a log cabin, coffee and bacon! And he's named after a rifle from the 19th Century. Or maybe I'm just easily pleased. Oh and did you notice his truck with the door that won't open from the inside?! Totally the truck from Freeze Tag. I bet after he went to jail, Winchester's dad sold the truck to West Trevor to help pay for the kid's school lunches. Oh and the bit where he said he'd only dated her sister to get near her? Lame, lame, lame.
Steve. Umm. Not totally believable that a university lecturer would double up as a drug dealer but I might be bitter because I didn't guess it. Looking back, I think there was a clue at the beginning about him having his own income.
Mr Partini. I've been listening to an Agatha Christie book tape in the car. So even though Mr Partini was supposed to be Italian, in my head he sounds Belgian. As it was, he was supposed to be more of a Count Fosco figure. (side note: could it be that The Woman in White was the very first Point Horror novel?) I thought his part was ridiculous. Who would start a career as a toy maker and then decide that actually your values and career path lead elsewhere and diverge into organised crime?
Plot holes / Unfinished plot lines: Let's all just admit that the only reason she was called Ryan was so Charles could pretend to be her at the drugstore picking up the photos.
Did I miss the bit where they explain how they made the ghosts and animated toys appear? It was a crazy complex plan for criminals to have. But then they are the weirdest gang of criminal misfits. I almost want to write a movie about their side of the story. I can hear the trailer voice. The fake student. The ex boyfriend. The College Professor / Step father. The Toymaker. You've never seen organised crime like it... You can just imagine the conversation back at base.
Charles "Well, the girl who knew about us is dead but she might have told her sister something."
Steve "I'm sleeping with her mother. Maybe we should just waste the kid."
Count Fosco "But the little Bambellina is so helpful in the shop while I deliver zee drugs - keep her, she is adorable"
Winchester "Umm. Yeah, I think we should keep her"
Charles "No one asked you, rifle boy. I have a better idea. I'll go move in with them -Steve, you provide me a fake background- then we'll all fake haunt her - Mr Partini can scare her with toys, I'll scare her with presents and a car, Steve can scare her with a snowman and Winchester can scare her with a real ghost."
Winchester "Where am I supposed to find a real ghost?"
Charles "That's your problem or your kid siblings get it. Stop interrupting. ... and everyone remember the ribbons, that's very important. Oh and I'll drug her with hot cider and dump her in the snow and pretend to run over Winchester's dog and Winchester can rescue her and the dog and then get all the truth out of her."
Winchester "What about when she realises I don't have a dog?"
Charles "She'll never question where the dog is or ask to see it or anything. Oh and I forgot that one of us has to keep dressing up in a ski mask and jacket. And one of us needs to chase her as Santa. Why is everyone staring at me? This is a foolproof plan. I can feel it."
I really did enjoy it though. The first half of the novel was all X files episode and the second half was all Steven Seagal movie. My favourite line
"Charles thrust his gun against Jinx's face and tightened on the trigger. "Merry Christmas, Ryan," he snarled."
Inappropriate happy ending: Oh, my sister's still dead. And we still haven't found her body. Maybe we never will. But I've got a boyfriend and the boy she went out with was only interested in me anyway. So we're all good.