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A review by mmattmiller
Same But Different: Teen Life on the Autism Express by Ryan Elizabeth Peete, Holly Robinson Peete, Rj Peete
2.0
I reeeeally wanted to love this one. I even saw some of the lower-star reviews before reading it, and thought I would be the one to stand up for this book! But I just can't...
I think it's great to have a book about autism (family life with autism, school life with autism) that is based on truth, on real experiences, and not just a novel by someone who has done research. That's why my hopes were so high. But unfortunately, what I get from this book is that there is a sister who really doesn't like her brother or think highly of her brother. And this brother who is trying to tell people what it is like to be him, and I'm just praying he doesn't read what his sister is writing!
I'm not saying that "it's not that bad" or that she should put a front on and pretend everything is great or even get over the hard parts. But I'm all about balance. In her author's note, the sister tells her brother how much she loves him and is blown away by things he says- why is that not reflected anywhere in the book? It's okay to share the challenges- other siblings of kids on the spectrum will relate for sure! But to have none of the positive that you speak of in your note? Just makes you sound kind of bad (even if the feelings are understandable.)
Now, for the target audience: Unfortunately, while I do think siblings of kids on the spectrum will relate to Callie, I hope they don't think they should just loudly complain and vent at all times, without ever looking for the value in the relationship or for the good. I fear that kids on the spectrum who read this will think (or realize? wonder? fear?) that their siblings secretly hate them and never want to be around them. As for random kids/teens reading this book, I think they will just thank their lucky stars that they neither have autism, nor a sibling with autism. It might raise awareness, but does it raise acceptance? The little bit of acceptance/good in the last two chapters aren't quite redemptive enough or teaching enough to embrace Autism.
So while this book is well intentioned, and I'm telling you, I LOVE the idea, I just don't think it was executed well. I'm stuck on the sister's author's note where she talks about bringing up the challenging stuff and how maybe that was hard on her mom and especially her dad... But maybe it's because while it's true, there have been some tough patches that are hard to bring up, maybe because your parents even deep down realized there's a difference between bringing up tough topics, and just complaining/venting/sounding like you don't like your brother and only tolerate him because you're obligated as his twin. I really don't think that's the case (based on her note to her brother), but reading only the book- that's exactly what I'd think.
(Side note- I also loved Holly Robinson Peete's note. To me, that was real. She brought up some real things that families experience. I get that her input would have ruined the sibling/twin message of the book, but I would love to hear her voice, her experiences. Maybe she already has written a book- I will look into it. I just get frustrated I think when I get more out of acknowledgements/author's notes in the back of the books, then the books themselves.)
I think it's great to have a book about autism (family life with autism, school life with autism) that is based on truth, on real experiences, and not just a novel by someone who has done research. That's why my hopes were so high. But unfortunately, what I get from this book is that there is a sister who really doesn't like her brother or think highly of her brother. And this brother who is trying to tell people what it is like to be him, and I'm just praying he doesn't read what his sister is writing!
I'm not saying that "it's not that bad" or that she should put a front on and pretend everything is great or even get over the hard parts. But I'm all about balance. In her author's note, the sister tells her brother how much she loves him and is blown away by things he says- why is that not reflected anywhere in the book? It's okay to share the challenges- other siblings of kids on the spectrum will relate for sure! But to have none of the positive that you speak of in your note? Just makes you sound kind of bad (even if the feelings are understandable.)
Now, for the target audience: Unfortunately, while I do think siblings of kids on the spectrum will relate to Callie, I hope they don't think they should just loudly complain and vent at all times, without ever looking for the value in the relationship or for the good. I fear that kids on the spectrum who read this will think (or realize? wonder? fear?) that their siblings secretly hate them and never want to be around them. As for random kids/teens reading this book, I think they will just thank their lucky stars that they neither have autism, nor a sibling with autism. It might raise awareness, but does it raise acceptance? The little bit of acceptance/good in the last two chapters aren't quite redemptive enough or teaching enough to embrace Autism.
So while this book is well intentioned, and I'm telling you, I LOVE the idea, I just don't think it was executed well. I'm stuck on the sister's author's note where she talks about bringing up the challenging stuff and how maybe that was hard on her mom and especially her dad... But maybe it's because while it's true, there have been some tough patches that are hard to bring up, maybe because your parents even deep down realized there's a difference between bringing up tough topics, and just complaining/venting/sounding like you don't like your brother and only tolerate him because you're obligated as his twin. I really don't think that's the case (based on her note to her brother), but reading only the book- that's exactly what I'd think.
(Side note- I also loved Holly Robinson Peete's note. To me, that was real. She brought up some real things that families experience. I get that her input would have ruined the sibling/twin message of the book, but I would love to hear her voice, her experiences. Maybe she already has written a book- I will look into it. I just get frustrated I think when I get more out of acknowledgements/author's notes in the back of the books, then the books themselves.)