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A review by sheldonleecompton
Lost in Space: A Father's Journey There and Back Again by Ben Tanzer, Steven Lafler
5.0
Ben Tanzer is a hell of a father. That’s the first thing I knew I’d want to say when offering my review and appreciation of Tanzer’s collection of essays Lost in Space, published this year by Curbside Splendor. It merits being said one more time – Ben Tanzer is a hell of a father, and in these essays he offers moments of triumph and moments of frailty and love and worry, tenderness and outright confusion. In other words, he nails it.
Which brings me to the fact that Tanzer can write, and write about fatherhood better than anyone doing it right now. In the first essay of this collection “I Need” we get an instant look at the one overriding state of mind for all parents after a certain point – need. The need for sleep, the need for time to yourself, the need, the need, the need. It’s a perfect start to what becomes a collection of essays at turns hilarious and insightful as well as full of strength but also honest frailty.
Take this exchange between father and son from “Bed Sex”:
“Okay,” I start, “Do you understand how people get pregnant?” “Yeah,” he says. “the boy puts in penis in the girl’s mouth.” Yeah, maybe on a really good day I think, or like an anniversary or something.
I carried Ben’s book around the house hunting for my wife after reading this passage. At one point, I stopped and thought, My new goal is write so that I make someone hunt other people down to show them something I’ve written. We should all write this way, I think.
Then sometimes, there are moments that wed both humor and sheer love, such as this one from “I Believe in You (Sketches on the Younger Child)”:
“For a long time, he had only one tooth come in, and it was enormous and weird, and awesome to behold when he laughed.”
This blend of both humor and affection can be found throughout Lost in Space and readers are lucky for it. In the essay “Sound Like Sleep” Tanzer relates to us the trouble his son has with sleeping, a problem he also suffers. During that essay, he writes of staying on the phone with his son during a sleepover. This shared experience and how, as a father, Tanzer gives his son his full patience is one of many moments when I just closed the book and stared at pictures of my children.
This books makes you want to be a better parent, even if you’ve been an amazing parent up until now. Now that’s what I call transcending simple storytelling.
Two essays I cannot recommend highly enough from this collection are “The Penis Story” and “You Throw Your Life in My Face”. Both will show you Tanzer’s amazing reach as an essayist. As my grandfather used to say, the first would make a dog laugh. The second will leave you feeling the most interesting place in the world is the city of Chicago.
Tanzer has flexed muscles some writers may never discover they even have with Lost in Space. There’s honesty to this collection only matched in my reading by some of the best pieces from Jamie Iredell and humor yet unmatched. I can’t imagine anyone is writing essays any better today.
Which brings me to the fact that Tanzer can write, and write about fatherhood better than anyone doing it right now. In the first essay of this collection “I Need” we get an instant look at the one overriding state of mind for all parents after a certain point – need. The need for sleep, the need for time to yourself, the need, the need, the need. It’s a perfect start to what becomes a collection of essays at turns hilarious and insightful as well as full of strength but also honest frailty.
Take this exchange between father and son from “Bed Sex”:
“Okay,” I start, “Do you understand how people get pregnant?” “Yeah,” he says. “the boy puts in penis in the girl’s mouth.” Yeah, maybe on a really good day I think, or like an anniversary or something.
I carried Ben’s book around the house hunting for my wife after reading this passage. At one point, I stopped and thought, My new goal is write so that I make someone hunt other people down to show them something I’ve written. We should all write this way, I think.
Then sometimes, there are moments that wed both humor and sheer love, such as this one from “I Believe in You (Sketches on the Younger Child)”:
“For a long time, he had only one tooth come in, and it was enormous and weird, and awesome to behold when he laughed.”
This blend of both humor and affection can be found throughout Lost in Space and readers are lucky for it. In the essay “Sound Like Sleep” Tanzer relates to us the trouble his son has with sleeping, a problem he also suffers. During that essay, he writes of staying on the phone with his son during a sleepover. This shared experience and how, as a father, Tanzer gives his son his full patience is one of many moments when I just closed the book and stared at pictures of my children.
This books makes you want to be a better parent, even if you’ve been an amazing parent up until now. Now that’s what I call transcending simple storytelling.
Two essays I cannot recommend highly enough from this collection are “The Penis Story” and “You Throw Your Life in My Face”. Both will show you Tanzer’s amazing reach as an essayist. As my grandfather used to say, the first would make a dog laugh. The second will leave you feeling the most interesting place in the world is the city of Chicago.
Tanzer has flexed muscles some writers may never discover they even have with Lost in Space. There’s honesty to this collection only matched in my reading by some of the best pieces from Jamie Iredell and humor yet unmatched. I can’t imagine anyone is writing essays any better today.