A review by scribblinginthemargins
I Want to Die but I Want to Eat Tteokbokki by Baek Se-hee

emotional reflective medium-paced

2.0

I really don't get the hype with this book. Whilst it's incredibly courageous of the author to be so vulnerable in sharing her reflections and direct transcripts of her therapy sessions, the whole thing just did not feel very profound or even necessarily emotive or interesting to me.

I may be biased as I work on a psychiatric ward with people at high risk due to mental illness, but I didn't find myself able to see her experiences as having a significant impact on her life or functioning to warrant that amount of input from a psychiatrist - maybe it's cultural distance but the psychiatrist almost seemed to create dependence for the author, medicalising all her (actually very normal) difficulties and reducing her sense of efficiency and over-medicating her. The author almost felt unreal, a character of exaggerated dependent personality and someone in need of a therapist who could empower her to make her own choices and develop her ability to look outside and beyond her self-perception and self-obsession.

Again, harsh, but it also felt like she was trying way too hard to be profound and just couldn't hit the mark at all. The writing was disjointed and over the top at times, giving the narrative a very wishy-washy feel.

I personally wouldnt recommend this book to anyone struggling with low mood or feelings of depression or anxiety. What I would say is: find your trusted person. Tell someone about your struggles but let it be someone who can gently encourage you to remember how effective you are in finding ways through. Rather than reaching for a book because it's plastered all over Instagram, reach for a person, seek out human connection and never forget that you have a unique and important role to play in your own recovery and self-growth. There is always hope.

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