A review by karieh13
Just Let Me Lie Down: Necessary Terms for the Half-Insane Working Mom by Kristin van Ogtrop

4.0

This books speaks to my life exactly. I am a working mom, trying that whole “balancing act” thing, and sometimes need a book like “Just Let Me Lie Down” to let me take a step back from the craziness and laugh for a bit.

This book, written as a lexicon, provided a great deal of laughter...balanced by a strong sense of gratitude and love. Van Ogtrop recognizes that as hard as it is sometimes to try to do it all, it also means that she is lucky enough to have it all. A wonderful family and a good job. Both aspects of her life help make her who she is. And along with a good sense of humor, that can make for a crazy, amazing life.

“...there is something tremendously empowering about doing it all, because it means you are making most of the decisions. Would I really want to give up that level of control? I'm not sure. And so, much of my life as a wife and mother is about vacillating between wanting to do everything myself and being really, really mad that no one is helping me.”

And, going back to the title of the book (which I love), sometimes it can just make you tired.

“My father was a fairly heavy smoker for decades until the nagging of his loved ones finally got to him, and he abruptly quit. Years later I asked him if he missed smoking. “Every single day,” he replied. And so I think about sleep in the way I imagine my father thinks about cigarettes: that is, constantly and with extreme longing. Every single day.”

If you are a working mother, or were, or had a working mother, much of this book is going to ring very true for you. I wouldn't suggest reading it in a place where you might be embarrassed by suddenly laughing out loud.

A term - “Midconversation Screen Saver”: “The thing that unexpectedly happens when your husband is talking and suddenly you start thinking about whether you should take that chicken out of the freezer to defrost and if you should wear your black pants to work tomorrow because it's only Monday and you might be able to get away with wearing them twice in one week without anyone noticing if you put enough days in between. Your husband thinks you are still listening but you have gone on screen saver.”

As the oldest child of three, growing up with a working mom, I read Erma Bombeck's books as a kid. There's the same sort of “my family makes me nuts sometimes but I love them fiercely and unconditionally” feel to this book. The author takes a step back every once in a while to look with awe at her life and the most important people in it – her family.

I also appreciated the fact that she recognizes that while aspects of her book apply to many working mothers, she counts herself as very lucky “I do not presume to speak for all working mothers. In my life, hard work (and luck) has reaped real rewards, and not everyone is so fortunate.” But I would be surprised if anyone can't relate to at least a few of the terms in this book.

“...as part of your daily life, stress most often takes the shape of “Why am I running around like a maniac while everyone else watches ESPN?” And that is a Stress Fracture. The key stress fracture in my life happens every morning from 7:15 to 8:40, when the three individuals who have the hardest time getting out the door are moving at radically different speeds: I am a Ferrari, my middle son is a unicycle,and my husband is a hearse.”

And: “To-do Haiku: The list of tasks or semi-important things to remember that replays like a song stuck in your head until you finally find a pen and write it down. For example:”

Pick up dry cleaning
Where are my black boots? At work?
Did we pay that bill?

I very much enjoyed reading this book and think that many other women would as well. In the craziness of life, if you aren't able sometimes to just lie down, try picking this up. Just don't try to read it at the same time you're doing laundry/making dinner/helping with homework/checking a work email.