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A review by violetends
Polysecure: Attachment, Trauma and Consensual Nonmonogamy by Jessica Fern
hopeful
informative
reflective
slow-paced
4.75
Throughout the last years I've been slowly reading myself through the polyam books everyone is talking about. I am simultaneously glad and sad it took me so long to get to Polysecure. I could have needed this at the beginning of my exploration of polyam connections. But also it was so helpful reading it now and reflecting upon the experiences I have already made and how I shifted along the different types Fern describes here.
This is well-researched and based on years of personal experience as a therapist focused on non-monogamous individuals and relationships. Her perspective is empathetic while gently nudging the reader to glance at painful feelings, experiences and own behaviours. I appreciate this combination a lot and consider it much more helpful than other approaches I have sometimes read.
Polysecure is a good introduction to nonmonogamy but I also believe that more experienced people can take a lot from it, or those who are in connections with people who are less experienced.
This is well-researched and based on years of personal experience as a therapist focused on non-monogamous individuals and relationships. Her perspective is empathetic while gently nudging the reader to glance at painful feelings, experiences and own behaviours. I appreciate this combination a lot and consider it much more helpful than other approaches I have sometimes read.
Polysecure is a good introduction to nonmonogamy but I also believe that more experienced people can take a lot from it, or those who are in connections with people who are less experienced.
Content Warnings
Moderate: Emotional abuse, Infidelity, Abandonment, Toxic relationship, Child abuse, and Misogyny