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coda_apple 's review for:
The Iliad
by Homer
The Iliad: The Most Epic Soap Opera Ever Written
Ah, *The Iliad*—the original "why-can't-we-all-just-get-along" story. Homer really outdid himself here, didn't he? I mean, who wouldn't want to read a 700+ page poem about a ten-year temper tantrum between some of the most petty, overpowered characters ever imagined?
First off, we've got Achilles, the ultimate "I'm too cool for this war" guy who spends half the book sulking in his tent because his feelings got hurt. Then there’s Agamemnon, whose main talent seems to be making terrible decisions and annoying everyone in sight. Let’s not forget Paris, the man who single-handedly proves that you should never let a pretty face choose your spouse—or start a war.
The gods, of course, are the best part. Nothing says divine wisdom like meddling in human affairs just to see who wins a bet. Zeus and Hera’s marriage counseling sessions could probably fill a whole other epic, and who wouldn't want to hear more about Athena’s side hustle as a war strategist?
The plot? Simple: A whole lot of fighting, some crying, a few heartfelt speeches, more fighting, a bit more crying, and then finally, a giant wooden horse because, sure, that’s a logical conclusion. Spoiler alert: the horse wins.
But seriously, if you’re into endless lists of who killed whom in the bloodiest way possible, with a sprinkle of heroic speeches that make you wonder if they ever had a chance to catch their breath, this one’s for you. Just don’t expect to find out what happens after Troy falls—you’ll have to pick up another book for that. Classic Homer, always leaving us hanging.
So grab your sandals, pour a glass of ambrosia, and prepare for the most epic soap opera in history. Just be prepared for some serious déjà vu when you realize half the characters have names you can’t pronounce and the other half die before you even get to know them.
Ah, *The Iliad*—the original "why-can't-we-all-just-get-along" story. Homer really outdid himself here, didn't he? I mean, who wouldn't want to read a 700+ page poem about a ten-year temper tantrum between some of the most petty, overpowered characters ever imagined?
First off, we've got Achilles, the ultimate "I'm too cool for this war" guy who spends half the book sulking in his tent because his feelings got hurt. Then there’s Agamemnon, whose main talent seems to be making terrible decisions and annoying everyone in sight. Let’s not forget Paris, the man who single-handedly proves that you should never let a pretty face choose your spouse—or start a war.
The gods, of course, are the best part. Nothing says divine wisdom like meddling in human affairs just to see who wins a bet. Zeus and Hera’s marriage counseling sessions could probably fill a whole other epic, and who wouldn't want to hear more about Athena’s side hustle as a war strategist?
The plot? Simple: A whole lot of fighting, some crying, a few heartfelt speeches, more fighting, a bit more crying, and then finally, a giant wooden horse because, sure, that’s a logical conclusion. Spoiler alert: the horse wins.
But seriously, if you’re into endless lists of who killed whom in the bloodiest way possible, with a sprinkle of heroic speeches that make you wonder if they ever had a chance to catch their breath, this one’s for you. Just don’t expect to find out what happens after Troy falls—you’ll have to pick up another book for that. Classic Homer, always leaving us hanging.
So grab your sandals, pour a glass of ambrosia, and prepare for the most epic soap opera in history. Just be prepared for some serious déjà vu when you realize half the characters have names you can’t pronounce and the other half die before you even get to know them.