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A review by lunabbly
No Ashes in the Fire: Coming of Age Black and Free in America by Darnell L. Moore
5.0
I love reading memoirs and Darnell's was truly exceptional. He moves us through his life, interweaving emotional reflections and learnings and offering free lessons for men to love themselves to avoid harming the ones they love and especially women and trans folks in their lives who uplift them and teach them about love, care, and empathy. I'm recommending this book to every man of color I know because there are so many rich lessons that Darnell offers about love, forgiveness, and accountability.
Since I myself have a difficult relationship with my father, Darnell's ability to let go of the hate and despite for his father long before his father passed, struck many chords for me. While I'm not at the emotional stability nor willingness to let go, I will hold this lesson close to my heart for a long time. He wrote that his last words to his father were wishes for his father to fly. It was a moving demonstration of Darnell's emotional growth in being able to let go of the atrocities his father committed from nearly beating his mother to death to asking him for money after he picked up him at a bus stop in the middle of the night rather than apologizing for being a terrible parent. I appreciated Darnell's realness in expressing what his dialogue could have been versus what it was as I often go through that too.
Overall, highly recommend, especially the beginning chapters through college!
Since I myself have a difficult relationship with my father, Darnell's ability to let go of the hate and despite for his father long before his father passed, struck many chords for me. While I'm not at the emotional stability nor willingness to let go, I will hold this lesson close to my heart for a long time. He wrote that his last words to his father were wishes for his father to fly. It was a moving demonstration of Darnell's emotional growth in being able to let go of the atrocities his father committed from nearly beating his mother to death to asking him for money after he picked up him at a bus stop in the middle of the night rather than apologizing for being a terrible parent. I appreciated Darnell's realness in expressing what his dialogue could have been versus what it was as I often go through that too.
Overall, highly recommend, especially the beginning chapters through college!