A review by canonicallychaotic
There Is A Light by Ban Gilmartin

5.0

“today i’ve been the kind of person i want to be. the kind of person i think i can be. like, maybe if i can do things like this—be useful, be good, help others, maybe it’ll help me stop treating everything like it’s temporary.”

jamie gilmour is ready for a new start. so he follows his childhood best friend to edinburgh, hoping to start making better choices and sticking to them. when he gets a job at a bookstore, he crash lands into jude pujari’s life. jude is terrified of change, but everything around him is changing. he’s living, but he’s not sure if he’s really alive. together, they conquer change, second chances, and face who exactly they might want to be.

there is a light is an actually comfort read; it feels like a warm blanket around your shoulders, your hands held up to the fire before they grow too cold.

it’s a slow burn, it’s a forced-proximity, it’s a strangers to lovers with many stops in between. it’s a journey in mental health, a journey in addiction, a journey in grief. it’s finding your place and your people. it’s a book about allowing yourself to be seen, and allowing yourself to be loved for all that is seen. it’s allowing yourself to take all the chances you need. it’s knowing that love can’t fix you, but neither can shutting out love entirely.

i’ve read there is a light maybe three or four times now, and i love it every time. as an independently published book, it’s not one that has a lot of traction. but it’s one i don’t talk about often because of how tightly i hold onto it. but i’m loosening my grip a little now. i’m allowing this part of me to be seen.

and if you take a look—maybe you’ll like what you see.

cw: alcoholism, discussions of suicide and suicide ideation, anxiety & depression, internalized homophobia