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flowerprose 's review for:
Horror Movie
by Paul Tremblay
slow-paced
not even a cannibalistic ending could salvage this shallow assembly of verbose nonsense and toothless horror.
every opportunistic hack seems to think they've figured out the key to writing a successful horror story, much to the plight of horror fans everywhere. the script excerpts prove to be the most tedious punishment of all: a nightmare penned from the guy in your mfa who is <i>so</i> much smarter and more insightful than you and will go out of his lengths to prove it in every sentence, including a pervasive five-page description of the film pausing, where nothing happens except the author beating you over the head with their edgy philosophical observations that contain just enough horse shit to create a new line of cheesy hot topic t-shirts.
even if the goal wasn't to be scary but to rely on the existential dread of being young and complicit in a world intent on warping you into something fanged and cruel, it failed to deliver on every account.
every opportunistic hack seems to think they've figured out the key to writing a successful horror story, much to the plight of horror fans everywhere. the script excerpts prove to be the most tedious punishment of all: a nightmare penned from the guy in your mfa who is <i>so</i> much smarter and more insightful than you and will go out of his lengths to prove it in every sentence, including a pervasive five-page description of the film pausing, where nothing happens except the author beating you over the head with their edgy philosophical observations that contain just enough horse shit to create a new line of cheesy hot topic t-shirts.
even if the goal wasn't to be scary but to rely on the existential dread of being young and complicit in a world intent on warping you into something fanged and cruel, it failed to deliver on every account.