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A review by eliselawrence19
It's Messy: Essays on Boys, Boobs, and Badass Women by Amanda de Cadenet
1.0
Amanda de Cadanet has compiled a series of mostly mundane personal anecdotes with a heavy-handed self-help tone (despite her insistence in the introduction that "this is not a self-help book") and purposeless celebrity name-dropping.
It was easy to read, with her frank and conversational tone, but her hypocrises undermined her credibility throughout.
For a book that only came out last year, it doesn't seem attuned to the social climate or to be contributing to the conversation. Amanda seems to have an inflated sense of her own importance and wisdom, presenting her ideas as "radical" when they are years behind any kind of modern conversation regarding feminism or body acceptance. She also makes sweeping generalisations like "having an active and fulfilling sex life is more complicated than ever before". How so? And as compared to when/what?
Her hypocrises and insecurities are most evident in her discussion of bodily autonomy. She says that women should do whatever they want! (but not that). E.g. page 78: Don't let anyone tell you that you should be having sex after giving birth (until your child is at least one). Also you need to accept the fact your partner won't be very pleased about the post-natal lack of sex, and that "sometimes it makes everyone's life easier to just do it" (p.79). She also tells the reader that she gave her husband the option between a "floppy stomach or floppy vagina" (C-section or vaginal birth, p.80), with no further discussion about making the right decision for your birth and body, or about respectful discussions that do not give your partner the power to make decisions about your body...
Her discussions of childbirth, motherhood and postpartum depression felt the most authentic and I liked what she had to say about searching for your truth, especially as it related to finding meaningful work. I resonated with what she had to say in Chapter Three about "love addiction" and the deadly combination of abusive partners and low self esteem. But ultimately I was left feeling like...so what?
It was easy to read, with her frank and conversational tone, but her hypocrises undermined her credibility throughout.
For a book that only came out last year, it doesn't seem attuned to the social climate or to be contributing to the conversation. Amanda seems to have an inflated sense of her own importance and wisdom, presenting her ideas as "radical" when they are years behind any kind of modern conversation regarding feminism or body acceptance. She also makes sweeping generalisations like "having an active and fulfilling sex life is more complicated than ever before". How so? And as compared to when/what?
Her hypocrises and insecurities are most evident in her discussion of bodily autonomy. She says that women should do whatever they want! (but not that). E.g. page 78: Don't let anyone tell you that you should be having sex after giving birth (until your child is at least one). Also you need to accept the fact your partner won't be very pleased about the post-natal lack of sex, and that "sometimes it makes everyone's life easier to just do it" (p.79). She also tells the reader that she gave her husband the option between a "floppy stomach or floppy vagina" (C-section or vaginal birth, p.80), with no further discussion about making the right decision for your birth and body, or about respectful discussions that do not give your partner the power to make decisions about your body...
Her discussions of childbirth, motherhood and postpartum depression felt the most authentic and I liked what she had to say about searching for your truth, especially as it related to finding meaningful work. I resonated with what she had to say in Chapter Three about "love addiction" and the deadly combination of abusive partners and low self esteem. But ultimately I was left feeling like...so what?