A review by ramunepocky
Okay, Cupid by Mason Deaver

4.5

this is only rlly half a review b/c my brain isn't working, so perhaps one day I'll update with the full review, but for now, have these half thoughts and feelings 

“I didn’t care about it at all. I wanted to feel like me. I wanted to dress amd look how Jude looked and felt, how this version of me that I actually liked would be. And I think I found them, eventually.”
 
this review is not spoiler free

“It’s mine. I like it. When I look at myself in the mirror, I feel like it belongs to me.” 

I found Jude really frustrating at times, especially with how jealous they were towards Alice when she didn’t actually deserve it. It made me so mad bc it was SO FUCKING OBVIOUS how smitten Huy was with Jude and they were so oblivious to it and so caught up in their jealousy. And Alice was allowed to be friends with Huy again, she was allowed to interact with them and be close to them and be happy – THEY WERE CLOSE FRIENDS< THEY CAN BE CLOSE FRIENDS AGAIN, it was so obvious to me that they were purely platonic and that they’d just needed that closure and it grinded my gears that Jude couldn’t see that and just kept feeling jealous of Alice and bitter about the fact they’d reunited the two of them. I know ofc people can’t control their emotions and it’s better to feel them, but I hate when people and characters let themselves be consumed by jealous and act out bc like,,, what does it achieve. I just find it rlly frustrating. And Alice was a rlly lovely character, 

“As much as we might not like it or want to admit it, being out and proud is an act of defiance.” 

Huy was such an incredibly sweet character – he was so caring and his jokes were absolutely hilarious to me. He was just sunshine personified. It was so obvious to me how early on he was jealous of Cal – like from that first time he saw the two of them outside of school and the way he tiptoed around the subject of Cal/visibly reacted whenever Cal was mentioned, it was obvious he thought Cal was Jude’s boyfriend and tried to respect that. The difference Huy’s jealousy grated me less because we see less of it/he still tried to be friendly with Cal and was respectful of their possible relationship and that we couldn’t see inside his head so we didn’t know the extent of it/what he was thinking whereas ofc with Jude we can hear them talking about how Alice and Huy being friends and having closure is their fault and they wish they didn’t, which, I’m sorry Jude, was just so shitty bc both HUY AND ALICE deserved to have their closure and reunite. I loved Huy's banter with Jude and the build up of their relationship was very sweet all in all.
 

“I know what It feels like to let those feelings linger for too long. They’re not kind; they’ll make you hate a person when they don’t deserve that.”  

I really really loved Alice, I loved seeing her open up throughout the duration of the book and the way that she started off being fairly gruff but opens up to Jude a lot more as the story progresses. It was sad to see how much what happened had affected her and how she’d internalised so much of it, but she’d wanted to respect Huy’s space by not coming into the shop, etc even when she was missing the donuts. Bless her, the way she was obsessed with the donuts was so funny and sweet. 

I liked Cal a lot, even if he does have the WORLDS POOREST TIMING and I believe it was him that ensured Jude and Huy reunited and still had each other in their lives even though Jude was about to move states. It made me sad that even though he knew he’d lose Jude if they made the decision to become human, he still supported them and gave them that lil shove they needed to make the choice, Cal had listened to Jude’s questions and rants and knew that that was what they needed to do even when Jude was still ensure about it, and it must have been hard for Cal, even ignoring the fact that he was in love with Jude, Jude was still his closest friend and they’d been by each other’s side and helping each other for a long time. I’d like to think that they’d still know each other in some future, but it feels unlikely considering humans aren’t allowed to remember cupids and I think it was only special cicrumstances of Leah raising Jude that allowed them to stay with her. 

“I’d almost forgotten you can cry from, being happy.” 

I had a feeling that the ending would be bittersweet in the way that it is, but I really love it. It has the same kind of hopeful and open ending that Kimi No Na Wa has (which we all know that I love so dearly) where they might have forgotten each other, but they were an important person to the other and their souls know that, so they feel like they know each other, even when they reunite and they don’t know who the other is, and I love that so much, it’s really beautiful. It feels like a warm hug knowing that there’s a future for them there still, that they are back in each other’s lives and we already know that the dynamic is there, that they work well together, so I trust that they’ll build up that relationship again, and Jude will date Huy and meet Alice and Neve again and they’ll all be the happy little found family they deserve.