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abooknomad 's review for:
It Ends with Us
by Colleen Hoover
challenging
dark
emotional
reflective
sad
tense
fast-paced
Plot or Character Driven:
Character
Flaws of characters a main focus:
Yes
Spoilery review (🚨)
This is it. I finally read bookstagram and booktok’s darling.
This book drained me, and I felt so tired after finishing it.
There’s so much discourse online surrounding this book that it’s a miracle I wasn’t spoiled. I was only aware of one trigger warning: that this was a story about an abusive relationship and domestic violence.
Overall, this was a gripping, heart-breaking, powerful book that discusses important themes many women face and try to overcome. I personally think the way Colleen Hoover portrayed and delved into the psyche of domestic violence victims through Lily's character and the “do I stay, or do I leave" dilemma was excruciatingly well done, and reminiscent of numerous news reports and testimonies I have read about online or seen in the news.
It is a thought-provoking book in the way it doesn’t try to sugar coat a toxic relationship… until it kind of does. I still don’t know how I feel about the ending.
As soon as Ryle walked in, I thought “ah this is the scumbag”. To me, this man was a walking red flag from the moment he appeared on the page, which is why I personally find it difficult to understand and believe Lily’s reasoning regarding Ryle’s exuding qualities as opposed to his flaws. The man had some good lines no doubt, but besides being good-looking, a neurosurgeon, being rich and good in bed, he has nothing else going for him and I never felt a true romantic connection between him and Lily. Knocking on 29 different doors until you found mine and general caveman behaviour like carrying me and locking me in a room while there’s a party going on outside it’s not on my “how to get me to fall in love with you” handbook.
By contrast, Atlas’ relationship with Lily was in my opinion better developed and we actually got to see the two characters form a connection, fall in love, and the reason behind their feelings for each other. We saw Atlas's good deeds and why Lily fell for him, but this was absent in Lily and Ryle’s relationship.
What I’m trying to say is: I get that this is a heavy book dealing with a difficult subject and the question of who deserves forgiveness and how much to forgive, but I’m finding it difficult to accept Lily’s grace towards Ryle at the end of the book when in my eyes his character doesn’t have enough substance to deserve it. His supposed complexity due to his tragic and horrific background was briefly mentioned in two pages and then brushed aside never to be explored again. But I’m also not sure if the book excuses or romanticises his abusive behaviour either (as I’ve heard a lot of people point out): both Ryle and Lily pointed out numerous times that his trauma was not an excuse, and ultimately, Ryle lost Lily’s love. However, at the same time, I have a bittersweet feeling regarding how the author chose to handle the transition in Ryle and Lily’s relationship from being broken due to his abusive behaviour to a sudden form of friendship and alliance for the sake of their child.
I’m not sure I’m making sense anymore. I did like this book; I just have a lot of feelings currently waging war inside me.
This being said, the side characters were great. Alyssa is impossible not to love, as is Marshall. And Atlas… he owns my heart. Besides this one, I’ve only read Ugly Love by the author and although her writing style is not always my cup of tea, she sure knows how to glue you to the page. I’m excited about It Starts With Us and I hope that my boy Atlas and Lily get the story they deserve.
This is it. I finally read bookstagram and booktok’s darling.
This book drained me, and I felt so tired after finishing it.
There’s so much discourse online surrounding this book that it’s a miracle I wasn’t spoiled. I was only aware of one trigger warning: that this was a story about an abusive relationship and domestic violence.
Overall, this was a gripping, heart-breaking, powerful book that discusses important themes many women face and try to overcome. I personally think the way Colleen Hoover portrayed and delved into the psyche of domestic violence victims through Lily's character and the “do I stay, or do I leave" dilemma was excruciatingly well done, and reminiscent of numerous news reports and testimonies I have read about online or seen in the news.
It is a thought-provoking book in the way it doesn’t try to sugar coat a toxic relationship… until it kind of does. I still don’t know how I feel about the ending.
As soon as Ryle walked in, I thought “ah this is the scumbag”. To me, this man was a walking red flag from the moment he appeared on the page, which is why I personally find it difficult to understand and believe Lily’s reasoning regarding Ryle’s exuding qualities as opposed to his flaws. The man had some good lines no doubt, but besides being good-looking, a neurosurgeon, being rich and good in bed, he has nothing else going for him and I never felt a true romantic connection between him and Lily. Knocking on 29 different doors until you found mine and general caveman behaviour like carrying me and locking me in a room while there’s a party going on outside it’s not on my “how to get me to fall in love with you” handbook.
By contrast, Atlas’ relationship with Lily was in my opinion better developed and we actually got to see the two characters form a connection, fall in love, and the reason behind their feelings for each other. We saw Atlas's good deeds and why Lily fell for him, but this was absent in Lily and Ryle’s relationship.
What I’m trying to say is: I get that this is a heavy book dealing with a difficult subject and the question of who deserves forgiveness and how much to forgive, but I’m finding it difficult to accept Lily’s grace towards Ryle at the end of the book when in my eyes his character doesn’t have enough substance to deserve it. His supposed complexity due to his tragic and horrific background was briefly mentioned in two pages and then brushed aside never to be explored again. But I’m also not sure if the book excuses or romanticises his abusive behaviour either (as I’ve heard a lot of people point out): both Ryle and Lily pointed out numerous times that his trauma was not an excuse, and ultimately, Ryle lost Lily’s love. However, at the same time, I have a bittersweet feeling regarding how the author chose to handle the transition in Ryle and Lily’s relationship from being broken due to his abusive behaviour to a sudden form of friendship and alliance for the sake of their child.
I’m not sure I’m making sense anymore. I did like this book; I just have a lot of feelings currently waging war inside me.
This being said, the side characters were great. Alyssa is impossible not to love, as is Marshall. And Atlas… he owns my heart. Besides this one, I’ve only read Ugly Love by the author and although her writing style is not always my cup of tea, she sure knows how to glue you to the page. I’m excited about It Starts With Us and I hope that my boy Atlas and Lily get the story they deserve.
Content Warnings
Graphic: Child death, Domestic abuse, Physical abuse, Rape