A review by lovebugger
Aristotle and Dante Dive Into the Waters of the World by Benjamin Alire Sáenz

5.0

I finished this on a 1.5 hour long commute.  I spent all of this novel thinking not just about my queer identity, but how its shaped my relationship with the world. I know reading this you might think thats what I relate to the most out of everything, his experience of mapping out the world. Im 18, white, jewish, and a lesbian. In just those words you would have never thought that out of any book Ive ever read this one effected me the most. I mean seriously it destroyed me. I was so heartbroken after reading the first book because I truly thought my life could never reacb the happiness that these characters were experiencing. I felt so left out of the typical queer coming of age and normal teenage firsts I missed out on but didnt realize until now. It hurt. It fucking hurt. But I realized I did have some of the things that made this book so great. I met my cassandra, susie, and gina. The platonic love of my life who I pray knows how deeply I am inspired by them, and my two friends who have stuck by me for 8 years and will hopefully stick by me for more. I hope so. Sometimes I talk to them, or friends im more distant with, and I do think I've found everything in their hands, in their words, in the way theyve been living their life but continue to inspire other people. I am continuously awed by the way this book portrayed this so well. (you can tell i totally forgot this was a book review, let me keep writing for myself for now. i hope you arent too bothered by it) It hit me so hard to see my own inner monologue reflected back at me. I'm 18, so it's hard to view myself as a woman and not a girl. To know that I'm on the verge of what it means to be a great person, but to not have the honesty to get there. I was thinking too about how Aris relationship with his Dad affected how he became the commendable character he is by the end of the book. How their relationship of silence and their war of animosity destroyed the love and happiness he could have for himself. I'm not there yet. I wish I could say I was at that point with my father, and that this part of the book wasnt the most relatable part of it. My dad had never learned how to be a good father to me, and instead of showing me he didn't love me in silence he showed he didn't love me in actions and words. We're at a point now where he's finally apologized for the way he continues to approach me, but instaad of doing it to my face, where the tears lie, he instead did it over text message. Just an hour after I ended the book. He has never told me that he loves me to my face. Never. Until today, over text. I don't know what this timing means. My situation is leagues different but the message struck me nonetheless. I am so tired of living my life surrounded in pain and sorrow and anger, and trying to cover my saddness and loneliness and lack of being recognized up with my anger at the world. Maybe it's just my current situation and my personal life, but I really did enjoy this book. It definitely touched my heart on some level. 

This isn't as well written as it could be, but its 1 am. I'll always come back to this book, so I'll always come back to this review.