A review by incrediblefran
Come as You Are: the bestselling guide to the new science that will transform your sex life by Emily Nagoski

hopeful informative reflective

4.0

The same parts, organised differently.

A book I wish I had read in my 20s, and that I wish had existed when I was a teenager. 

Emily Nagoski’s writing style is lively, thoughtful and compassionate, and she blends biology, social science, history and psychology in a very readable manner. Some of her metaphors get away from her - the “One Ring” concept didn’t help my understanding much, despite being a Lord of the Rings fan, and while the garden metaphor is one I found very useful I know it’s not worked for other readers - but people can take away what works for them.

I had considered myself a sex-positive person, and I wasn’t brought up in a particularly restrictive or conservative household, but it was still eye-opening to realise how many myths (and, let’s face it, lies) about women’s sexuality I still believed, deep down. Nagoski really digs into these myths about sexuality, desire, orgasm, all of it, and unpacks the truth. 

The ongoing mantra of you are normal, this is normal, you are okay, you are not broken are powerful. “Normal” shouldn’t feel powerful, but in a world where women’s sexuality is so often seen as wrong, it is.