A review by y_rui
The Sparrow by Mary Doria Russell

adventurous medium-paced

1.25

Word of Warning: I may be biased because I put this on my TBR after I read Silence. I used to read tons of Sci-Fi as a kid so most concepts in this book have already been explored. I also don't care if this book is some fantasical allegory to whatever biblical or golden-age-of-exploration tale. It does not excuse the author from the following criticism.

A decent story mired in poor worldbuilding, poor writing, lots of telling-not-showing, poor pacing, capricious characters, ham-fisted plot contrivances, etc. It took me two weeks to read the first 40% of the book and one day to read the rest. The blurb is misleading, it certainly did not make me question my humanity. (Maybe how stupid humanity is because
the Father General decides to send another mission. I can see some dumbfuck world/co-orporation leader doing this. lol
.) I find it insulting to my intelligence that it is expected for a reader to just go along with everything the author throws at us. 1 star for the first third, 2.5 stars for the middle, 0 stars for the end. 
Sometimes I wonder if I read the same book as everyone else.
 
Perhaps I've missed some things, because I was either supremely bored or seething mad, but I state my case:
 
Worldbuilding:
One pet peeve: first contact aliens are human. Not physically human, but behaviourally human. I know the author is a biological anthropologist; it definitely shows, since she only considers things from a human perspective. BUT THEY'RE ALIENS JESUS CHRIST, IF YOU'RE GONNA WRITE ALIENS MAKE THEM AT LEAST A LITTLE WIERD AND NONSENSICAL. The aliens have two sexes, they think coffee tastes bitter, they abhor the smell of cooked beef (someone explain to me how this makes sense, please. The vegetarian aliens' children are killed for food and somehow this is suggests that they can't stand the smell of beef. Are the aliens made up of the same fat-carb-protein compositions as us? Carbon based? Fuck they're aliens for god's sake, beef stew does not smell like dead cow which does not smell like decaying carcass does not smell like dead alien babies.) The wealthy decorate their palaces with the same diamonds/emeralds/sapphires we use. Their economic system is basically capitalism with this domestic-agricultural slavery thrown in.  If a fucking alien that has had no prior contact with humans ever utters the line 'buy low and sell high' or any of this Wall Street douchebag bullshit again I will break my ereader. THE ALIENS, THEY EVEN ORGASM. THEY GAIN SEXUAL PLEASURE BY PENETRATING ORIFICES. 
Look, I won't get into the thick of things and nitpick everything but the worldbuilding is not there. The aliens have similar technologies, and sure, if it was stated that 'oh this is just the word that can be best used to describe this thing that serves the same purpose but is not completely the same', I can 100% give that a pass. But Rakhat is just Earth but with giant cat people and pseudo-cat people and other funny animals. 

Why was this not made into a fantasy? "Something something different realm or dimension" and "that's just how it is in magical fantasyland" and the author does not have to explicitly explain why they failed to do sufficient, technical worldbuilding.  
 
Characters:
Please, tell me more about these idiots. Oh wait, the author tells you everything. Scientists putting random crap in their mouths. Eating the feast the aliens provide them. Doing flight tricks on their landing vehicle. Greeting the first aliens you see because why not. Ignoring someone for 80% of the book while having sexual tension with another man, then marrying the man you've previously discounted. (This love affair takes up the span of a couple paragraphs and the whole relationship is noted for two pages. That’s it.) Somehow a linguist is able to get his friends a seat on a fact-finding mission. Oh his friend is a doctor and married to another useful man who can be an astronaut on the mission, so they deserve a spot. No fuck, that’s not how astronauts work fuck you. These are SCIENTISTS, not 17th Century dimwits. You can't just throw them on a ship to go exploring.  
Another pet peeve: Mary Sues/Gary Stus. Sofia. On the Mary Sue meter she is a twelve out of ten. Tragic backstory: check. Talented at everything: Check. Everyone likes her even though she is an 'emotional anorexic': check. Beautiful: Check. The narrator will not stop reminding you of how perfect she is. Even bruised and bloodied, a gay man cannot help but admire her beauty, when there is a equally bruised and bloodied and attractive man right beside her. Sometimes I find myself thinking that what she said or did was funny or charming but then the author feels ingratiated to tell you how great she is. She martyrs herself and her speech is made a rallying cry for the oppressed. Stop please.
 
The one interaction I did like: Sandoz and Anne's conversation just before landing. That was cute.
 
Writing:
X does this and Y is that. That's it, that's the prose. Dry. Bland. Much like this paragraph, everything is told to you. Pet Peeve no.3: telling me everything instead of showing me and letting me decide for myself. The author knows no subtlety nor purpose.

Tell me the lesson to be learned from this book. Tell me what it is, because I cannot for the love of god extract anything of meaning from this godforsaken book. Christopher Columbus is misunderstood? (For reference, author was inspired to write this book due to Columbus's actions. Whole drama there, I won't get too much into it.) Forcing someone to testify to his rape when he does not want to is…somehow a satisfying conclusion? (Look, I know in court they question every action you do to, to establish precedent. And the Church has a long history of not giving a damn about rape victims. This wasn't that. It was meant to shock the readers. He must admit that He Was Raped, in those exact words, to spell it out for the dumbfuck readers. In court they question what happened, did you consent, did you do this or that. This was more in the line of 'state explicitly that you were raped by aliens' to prove it to us. Its fucking disgusting - not what happened, but the audacity of the author. IS ALIEN PROBING TOO SUBTLE A TRAUMA? THE ALIENS HAVE TO BE OUTRIGHT RAPISTS OF THE HUMAN FASHION FOR THE CHARACTERS TO BE CONSIDERED ASSAULTED?) The arrogance of a bunch of dumbasses always gets them killed or tortured? It is not enough to watch people be exploited or a world go to shit or your friends die or your life change forever, one must be brutally tortured on top of that to question their existence and philosophies? What is the revelation?


Somewhere in the author's notes she writes (in not so many words) that she consulted a man of the Church and any inaccuracies regarding Christianity are not his fault, but due to her own arrogance. That's what this book is: an author, full of themselves, telling you these Big Important Lessons and throwing in all these things that she found funny or clever or entertaining but failing to account for reality and humanity and the craft of storytelling along the way. 

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