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A review by nlwisz
Friendshipping: The Art of Finding Friends, Being Friends, and Keeping Friends by Jenn Bane, Trin Garritano
5.0
Friendshipping is so much more than a book on how to make friends. It gives real, honest advice on how to begin, maintain, repair, and end relationships—which can be applied to not only friendship relationships but also family, colleagues (there’s a section on coworkers), neighbors, romantic relationships, and more. The book gives many straightforward and simple rules regarding things like basic consideration, how to be a good guest/host, dealing with secrets, maintaining and respecting boundaries, apologies and forgiveness, and how to approach favors and loans. You’ll learn when it’s appropriate to give advice and when you should just be an empathetic listener. Each chapter is peppered with prompts and scripts to give you real examples of how to tactfully navigate conversations and situations with others.
One of the most refreshing things about Friendshipping is its thoughtful inclusivity. The authors discuss special considerations for BIPOC, differing gender and sexual orientations, those with mobility challenges, and other marginalized populations, as well as how to help accommodate their needs. The authors also validate online-only and long-distance friendships as real, meaningful relationships—about time!
Companionship is an essential component of our biological, innate human makeup, and yet, the actual pursuit of friendship can feel so unnatural and contrived. Why? The authors encourage us to practice metacognition—thinking about how we think—to break down our preconceived notions about interpersonal behaviors. Is what we think or how we feel about the situation even the case, truthfully? The idea is that this practice will teach us both compassion for ourselves and empathy for others.
If we kill negative self-talk and earnestly believe that we are good people who are worthy of friendship, we will have an easier time building relationships. On the other hand, Friendshipping also encourages us to take a hard look at ourselves and acknowledge that sometimes we are the problem—with advice on how to do better going forward. (Personal example: I learned I am a cactus friend. I have a bad habit of wrongfully assuming my friends are fine with being neglected just because I personally don’t need frequent interaction. Sorry guys...)
Thank you to NetGalley and the publisher for providing me with an ARC in exchange for an honest review.
One of the most refreshing things about Friendshipping is its thoughtful inclusivity. The authors discuss special considerations for BIPOC, differing gender and sexual orientations, those with mobility challenges, and other marginalized populations, as well as how to help accommodate their needs. The authors also validate online-only and long-distance friendships as real, meaningful relationships—about time!
Companionship is an essential component of our biological, innate human makeup, and yet, the actual pursuit of friendship can feel so unnatural and contrived. Why? The authors encourage us to practice metacognition—thinking about how we think—to break down our preconceived notions about interpersonal behaviors. Is what we think or how we feel about the situation even the case, truthfully? The idea is that this practice will teach us both compassion for ourselves and empathy for others.
If we kill negative self-talk and earnestly believe that we are good people who are worthy of friendship, we will have an easier time building relationships. On the other hand, Friendshipping also encourages us to take a hard look at ourselves and acknowledge that sometimes we are the problem—with advice on how to do better going forward. (Personal example: I learned I am a cactus friend. I have a bad habit of wrongfully assuming my friends are fine with being neglected just because I personally don’t need frequent interaction. Sorry guys...)
Thank you to NetGalley and the publisher for providing me with an ARC in exchange for an honest review.