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A review by kevin_shepherd
Allow Me to Retort: A Black Guy's Guide to the Constitution by Elie Mystal
5.0
“Conservatives are out here acting like the Constitution was etched by divine flame upon stone tablets, when in reality it was scrawled out over a sweaty summer by people making deals with actual monsters who were trying to protect their rights to rape the humans they held in bondage.” -Elie Mystal, 2022
One of the things that sets Mr. Mystal apart from other political commentators I’ve read recently is that he is legitimately further left than I am—which is rare. He gives me something to aspire to.
“The (U.S.) Constitution is not gospel, it’s not magic, and it’s not even particularly successful if you count one civil war, one massive minority uprising for justice . . . and one failed coup led by the actual president, as demerits.”
There, I’ve quoted this glorious bastard twice already and I am just barely up to page two of the goddamn introduction.
Separate but Unequal
Mystal acknowledges that the basic concepts of the constitution—the rights, rules and prohibitions—are fairly sound, but the designed intent and application of those concepts falls far, far short of anything remotely equitable and unbiased.
1st Amendment/Freedom of Speech
The next time you hear a conservative rail against “cancel culture,” feel free to name drop Desiree Fairooz, Juli Briskman, and/or Gawker.com. There is no quicker path to cancellation than chuckling during a conservative’s confirmation hearing (Fairooz), giving the middle finger to a conservative’s motorcade (Briskman), or hurting a billionaire conservative’s fragile feelings (Gawker.com). Make no mistake, when it comes to cancel culture there is no boundary to republican hypocrisy.
Ammosexuals and the Second Amendment
“[Republicans] are willing to suffer the ongoing national tragedies of mass shootings, they’re willing to ignore the epidemics of suicides and violence against women, they’re willing to sacrifice the lives of schoolchildren, all so that they might feel a little less afraid when something goes bump in the night. We live in the most violent industrialized nation on earth because too many dudes can’t admit they still need a night-light.”
Elie contends that the current conservative interpretation of the second amendment was birthed in the 1970s by the National Rifle Association at the behest of gun manufacturers. Before then (e.g. The 1960’s) gun control was actually a plank in the republican platform. In fact, the “Mulford Act” (1967), one of California’s toughest gun control laws at the time, was signed into law by then governor Ronald Reagan. Yep. Ronald. Freakin’. Reagan.
You see, in the 1960’s, when Black people started carrying guns (i.e. The Black Panther Party and Copwatching), republicans read the second amendment as:
“a WELL REGULATED militia…”
Then, in the 1970’s when the NRA became the mouthpiece for corporations and funneled millions of dollars into GOP campaign coffers, the Orwellian newspeak became:
“A mumble mumble mumble MILITIA…”
See how that works?
Stop & Frisk
“Despite what you may have heard on Fox News, being Black is not a constitutionally valid reason to suspect a person of a crime.”
This Is Me (reluctantly) Moving On…
As much as I enjoyed this book, at some point (e.g. now) I need to shut the hell up and pick up that next read. I’ve already rambled on for over six hundred words and I haven’t yet commented on police unions or Hobby Lobby or gerrymandering or jury trials or water boarding or mass incarceration or the Fifteenth Amendment or Loving v. Virginia, etc. etc. etc. Read this and then we’ll talk.
One of the things that sets Mr. Mystal apart from other political commentators I’ve read recently is that he is legitimately further left than I am—which is rare. He gives me something to aspire to.
“The (U.S.) Constitution is not gospel, it’s not magic, and it’s not even particularly successful if you count one civil war, one massive minority uprising for justice . . . and one failed coup led by the actual president, as demerits.”
There, I’ve quoted this glorious bastard twice already and I am just barely up to page two of the goddamn introduction.
Separate but Unequal
Mystal acknowledges that the basic concepts of the constitution—the rights, rules and prohibitions—are fairly sound, but the designed intent and application of those concepts falls far, far short of anything remotely equitable and unbiased.
1st Amendment/Freedom of Speech
The next time you hear a conservative rail against “cancel culture,” feel free to name drop Desiree Fairooz, Juli Briskman, and/or Gawker.com. There is no quicker path to cancellation than chuckling during a conservative’s confirmation hearing (Fairooz), giving the middle finger to a conservative’s motorcade (Briskman), or hurting a billionaire conservative’s fragile feelings (Gawker.com). Make no mistake, when it comes to cancel culture there is no boundary to republican hypocrisy.
Ammosexuals and the Second Amendment
“[Republicans] are willing to suffer the ongoing national tragedies of mass shootings, they’re willing to ignore the epidemics of suicides and violence against women, they’re willing to sacrifice the lives of schoolchildren, all so that they might feel a little less afraid when something goes bump in the night. We live in the most violent industrialized nation on earth because too many dudes can’t admit they still need a night-light.”
Elie contends that the current conservative interpretation of the second amendment was birthed in the 1970s by the National Rifle Association at the behest of gun manufacturers. Before then (e.g. The 1960’s) gun control was actually a plank in the republican platform. In fact, the “Mulford Act” (1967), one of California’s toughest gun control laws at the time, was signed into law by then governor Ronald Reagan. Yep. Ronald. Freakin’. Reagan.
You see, in the 1960’s, when Black people started carrying guns (i.e. The Black Panther Party and Copwatching), republicans read the second amendment as:
“a WELL REGULATED militia…”
Then, in the 1970’s when the NRA became the mouthpiece for corporations and funneled millions of dollars into GOP campaign coffers, the Orwellian newspeak became:
“A mumble mumble mumble MILITIA…”
See how that works?
Stop & Frisk
“Despite what you may have heard on Fox News, being Black is not a constitutionally valid reason to suspect a person of a crime.”
This Is Me (reluctantly) Moving On…
As much as I enjoyed this book, at some point (e.g. now) I need to shut the hell up and pick up that next read. I’ve already rambled on for over six hundred words and I haven’t yet commented on police unions or Hobby Lobby or gerrymandering or jury trials or water boarding or mass incarceration or the Fifteenth Amendment or Loving v. Virginia, etc. etc. etc. Read this and then we’ll talk.