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A review by aerdna
The Game: Penetrating the Secret Society of Pickup Artists by Neil Strauss
3.0
I picked this up out of curiosity after a friend mentioned it while describing some recent dating puzzlements which centered around why men seem to find me irresistible mainly when I decide I've had enough of them. A secret society? Of pickup artists? Who play contrary psychological games to ensnare women? I had to know more. I thought I would abandon after getting a feel for the culture, but devoured it all the way through.
The story itself turned out to be intriguing and sad in equal measures (and not much related to my own dating woes, although it helped with playing armchair psychologist). Mostly what I learned is that there are hordes of people out there who feel disenfranchised by the opposite sex. This book focuses on men, but I am sure there are plenty of female equivalents out there. But, of course, this pick up artist stuff really has nothing to do with finding a partner. It has to do with finding power in your relationship to people of the opposite sex. In some ways, this seems to be good for some of these men. But then, as the power trip continues to spiral and faces become numbers, it becomes out of control. And unfortunately seems to feed into a cycle of negative feelings about the opposite sex. These ploys work with low self esteem women, for the most part. So these men attract low self esteem and self-destructive women, reinforcing a negative opinion of women in general, which they then carry forward into their next interactions with women. So in the end, the book isn't exactly about the gleeful seduction of flocks of beautiful women, but instead a bunch of sadsack guys faking it until they make it, then steadily unmaking themselves into soulless automatons. Some of them catch themselves before it's too late, but that's the minority.
I was expecting some self righteous feminist anger on reading this, but my overwhelming urge at the end of the book was to give these poor guys a hug.
The story itself turned out to be intriguing and sad in equal measures (and not much related to my own dating woes, although it helped with playing armchair psychologist). Mostly what I learned is that there are hordes of people out there who feel disenfranchised by the opposite sex. This book focuses on men, but I am sure there are plenty of female equivalents out there. But, of course, this pick up artist stuff really has nothing to do with finding a partner. It has to do with finding power in your relationship to people of the opposite sex. In some ways, this seems to be good for some of these men. But then, as the power trip continues to spiral and faces become numbers, it becomes out of control. And unfortunately seems to feed into a cycle of negative feelings about the opposite sex. These ploys work with low self esteem women, for the most part. So these men attract low self esteem and self-destructive women, reinforcing a negative opinion of women in general, which they then carry forward into their next interactions with women. So in the end, the book isn't exactly about the gleeful seduction of flocks of beautiful women, but instead a bunch of sadsack guys faking it until they make it, then steadily unmaking themselves into soulless automatons. Some of them catch themselves before it's too late, but that's the minority.
I was expecting some self righteous feminist anger on reading this, but my overwhelming urge at the end of the book was to give these poor guys a hug.