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clarissep 's review for:

4.0

This is a sad beautiful book with a compelling but lengthy story, and I can honestly say I have never read anything like this before. How on earth did Claire North come up with the concept for this book? From the girl who cannot be remembered to the app called 'Perfection', the entire thing was imaginative and impactful. She took a bunch of what-if's and spun a complete and plausible story out of it. I could spend all day picking this novel apart because it touches on so many themes. The easiest theme to spot would be the dangers of exposing too much of your private life online and allowing apps to run your life, but if you read my favorite quotes above you probably already have a good idea what range of topics to expect from this novel.

At first you might think that North is simply making some very valid commentaries about society’s shallow desires to maintain appearances of false perfection, but then it leads to discussions about what shapes a person’s perception of “perfect” and “imperfect” to begin with. This in turn is connected to Hope, whose biggest "imperfection" is that she cannot be remembered by anyone. To people who are aware of her special ability, they call this freedom. To Hope it is a prison, because she is in fact NOT free to love and to be loved. With this argument alone, North already proves a point with regards to how our perception tricks our minds to believe in certain things a certain way.

A warning though: This book is not going to be for everyone. The author intended this book to read a certain way, and I think she effectively executed that, but it’s not going to be everyone’s cup of tea. I chose to consume this as an audiobook because I know I would never have managed to finish this in book form. Stream of consciousness narration is not my usual style. I feel that it’s a step too close to the character in comparison to first person narrative, and as I expected, being too immersed inside the free-flowing mind of another person is too exhausting. And in the case of Hope and her utterly problematic situation, it is extra stressful, emotionally and psychologically.

There was a part around the 75% mark where Hope was having this mental breakdown, cussing and just generally going bonkers, and I felt very rattled by her distress. And I have never been rattled by a novel before. When I read I can feel sadness and tragedy strongly, but this is the first time I felt actually unnerved. Listening to someone falling apart is not pleasant.

That said, I am of two minds with the way North executed this novel of hers. The idea is ingenious, but I am not 100% sold on the stream of consciousness style of narration. The action/heist scenes were less exciting because you only hear it from one very specific viewpoint. Considering the plot in this novel is an exciting one involving spies, murder, brainwashing, and all those terrifying things, it’s such a shame. On the other hand, all the contemplations and emotions that inevitably come with Hope’s unique situation was exquisitely delivered thanks to the author’s narration choice. The continuous flow of Hope’s thoughts allows you to feel every beat and nuance of her emotions, and you are privy to her deepest darkest loneliest thoughts.

And boy was Hope Arden the loneliest character I have ever read about. She is lonely in every aspect of the word, in every way you can probably imagine. Picture being a person who no one remembers—not your family, nor your friends. Not the doctors who are supposed to regularly check up on you while you lay recovering from a near-death experience in a hospital. Literally NO ONE. You could be the most beautiful, most intelligent, most stunning person in the world, and yet the moment you leave the room it’s like you never existed.

It would be fun and beneficial for a while, maybe even exhilarating because you can get away with anything. But once that shine wears off, you find that you have been alone all this time. And that you will remain alone for the rest of your life. Because despite owning every material thing in the world, you can never have meaningful human connections, or do anything of worth that people will remember you by.

Who are you?

What are you?

Do you even truly exist?

I sat through the novel just wanting to know if Hope will ever be “cured” or if her condition would ever be explained. If not, I wanted at least one freaking person to remember Hope Arden. I’m curious to know if anybody who has ever finished this novel actually wished for Hope’s abilities. It’s such a terrible existence.

I’ve read other reviews of this book talking about how the novel seems to keep readers at arm’s length, never quite letting them in. I honestly don’t know how much closer you can get to a character when Hope is at times already spilling her guts out in despair, but you know, unless you’ve ever been in the same situation as her, it’s kind of hard to relate a hundred percent.

What I could relate to were some of the places Hope visited around the world. North did a great job capturing enough of the essence of each location to establish ambiance. I loved that she also used the specific schools of thought present in the specific country Hope was in to add a little more food for thought. But the book is not without its flaws. For one thing, North could've cut out several chapters and made some parts shorter. And now that I can view the book in hindsight, I feel like some parts of the writing started to feel a little indulgent as it sounded like the author was having too much fun voicing out her own lengthy opinions using Hope's voice. Valid as they may be, it made the book a little too long.

Verdict:
Highly recommend listening to the audiobook. The narrator is very good and adds a lot of value to the book.