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A review by embersbooknook
Solitaire by Alice Oseman
challenging
dark
emotional
hopeful
informative
mysterious
reflective
sad
tense
medium-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? A mix
- Strong character development? It's complicated
- Loveable characters? Yes
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
4.75
This was my first read by Alice Oseman - I have thoroughly enjoyed the Heartstopper tv show, and decided to start with Oseman’s first work, albeit the updated edition. I absolutely ADORE the way Alice Oseman writes her characters. I don’t know if I can completely put my finger on what it is, but they feel so real. Like they’re sitting right next to you. They feel so heartbreakingly human and complex and imperfect, and, as Tori notes of utter importance - REAL.
Oseman doesn’t put a pretty bow on depression in this story. Reading Tori’s character, and her somewhat insular point of view, you really feel the fatigue, brain fog, confusion, exhaustion, difficulty putting words to feelings/experiences, and anger/apathy that depression brings. I think maybe a reader who hasn’t experienced depression would find themselves very irritated at Tori in parts.
I have struggled with depression since childhood, and this book really got me thinking and processing as to my own journey with mental health and suicide ideation.
At my own frustration at existing as a teen. I saw the suffering in the world and just raged at a God I don’t know exists, constantly asking what the point of all this pain was?
As a highly sensitive person (the brain characteristic, it’s not a disorder but it does affect deeply the way that one interacts with/experiences the world - you can google Highly Sensitive Person if you aren’t familiar and see the psychological research that’s been done) with ADHD, I rarely lacked the ability to speak about what I felt, but describing it in a way others understood felt impossible for a long time. In that way I related to Michael’s frustration with his schoolwork.
I realized VERY early on in life that it wasn’t necessarily safe to talk about my feelings because people would get upset about how I felt. I didn’t have access to mental healthcare and only learned what depression was from a friend. I cried in relief, realizing I wasn’t broken or crazy. It was a real thing and other people felt it too.
I journaled extensively, not dissimilar to Tori’s blog. I felt incredibly alone in a world of people who all *seemed* so much more okay than I was.
This book is an honest look inside the heart and emotions of a person who is in a lot of pain, and has stopped being able to feel how much because it’s too exhausting.
Although my personality differs from Tori in that apathy wasn’t a way my depression manifested, she makes a lot of sense to me and this book means a lot to me.
It really helped me walk emotionally through so many isolating emotions and experiences I’ve had and process things I’d chosen to forget.
Tori and Michael’s friendship is a beautiful thing, and although they had a difficult run of figuring themselves and each other out, I was rooting for them the whole time.
Also, I TOTALLY FUCKING CALLED LUCAS, just saying. And Evelyn too!! Ahem. Anyways. 😂
Also it was so interesting to see Nick & Charlie as the background characters - I can see why Alice chose to draw them forward and write their story, and I’m so glad she did. I’m really just quite glad to live in the world at a time where Alice’s stories exist. 🥹
Not a book for those currently feeling suicidal, I would say - but otherwise I really kind of wish everyone would read this book. ❤️🩹
Oseman doesn’t put a pretty bow on depression in this story. Reading Tori’s character, and her somewhat insular point of view, you really feel the fatigue, brain fog, confusion, exhaustion, difficulty putting words to feelings/experiences, and anger/apathy that depression brings. I think maybe a reader who hasn’t experienced depression would find themselves very irritated at Tori in parts.
I have struggled with depression since childhood, and this book really got me thinking and processing as to my own journey with mental health and suicide ideation.
At my own frustration at existing as a teen. I saw the suffering in the world and just raged at a God I don’t know exists, constantly asking what the point of all this pain was?
As a highly sensitive person (the brain characteristic, it’s not a disorder but it does affect deeply the way that one interacts with/experiences the world - you can google Highly Sensitive Person if you aren’t familiar and see the psychological research that’s been done) with ADHD, I rarely lacked the ability to speak about what I felt, but describing it in a way others understood felt impossible for a long time. In that way I related to Michael’s frustration with his schoolwork.
I realized VERY early on in life that it wasn’t necessarily safe to talk about my feelings because people would get upset about how I felt. I didn’t have access to mental healthcare and only learned what depression was from a friend. I cried in relief, realizing I wasn’t broken or crazy. It was a real thing and other people felt it too.
I journaled extensively, not dissimilar to Tori’s blog. I felt incredibly alone in a world of people who all *seemed* so much more okay than I was.
This book is an honest look inside the heart and emotions of a person who is in a lot of pain, and has stopped being able to feel how much because it’s too exhausting.
Although my personality differs from Tori in that apathy wasn’t a way my depression manifested, she makes a lot of sense to me and this book means a lot to me.
It really helped me walk emotionally through so many isolating emotions and experiences I’ve had and process things I’d chosen to forget.
Also, I TOTALLY FUCKING CALLED LUCAS, just saying. And Evelyn too!! Ahem. Anyways. 😂
Also it was so interesting to see Nick & Charlie as the background characters - I can see why Alice chose to draw them forward and write their story, and I’m so glad she did. I’m really just quite glad to live in the world at a time where Alice’s stories exist. 🥹
Not a book for those currently feeling suicidal, I would say - but otherwise I really kind of wish everyone would read this book. ❤️🩹
Content Warnings
Moderate: Bullying, Eating disorder, Homophobia, Self harm, Suicidal thoughts, Violence, Blood, Grief, Suicide attempt, Fire/Fire injury, Alcohol, and Injury/Injury detail
Some of the content warnings are regarding non main character themes, like Charlie’s eating disorder, and like the bullying theme between Charlie and Ben that folks will know from the main Heartstopper books/show