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A review by dwheeler88
Born for Love: Why Empathy Is Essential--and Endangered by Bruce D. Perry, Maia Szalavitz
5.0
There are some spots that drag, and it certainly was not a book I could read cover-to-cover, but the information presented here is astounding.
Chapter 1: West Hill Public School in Toronto has 6th graders interacting with a 6 month old
• P16 If people are kind to us, our health tends to be good - but, as we will see, we can actually die from rejection and isolation.
• P24 mirroring guides the growth of empathy, choice, and self awareness
Chapter 2: Jeremy, the boy with a facial defect who gets over protected by his parents and can’t handle any form of stress
• P40 we need relationships to be healthy: physically, emotionally, psychologically, etc. ... Seeing the face of a loved one nearby can lower blood pressure and levels of stress hormones
Chapter 3: Eugenia, raised in a Russian orphanage with not enough 1:1 connection to develop any attachment to other people
• P50 orphanages that are sterile and isolating are dangerous and sometimes deadly to babies and toddlers.
• P62-63 oxytocin/vasopressin literally cause monogamy, and blocking it causes social amnesia
• P68 so much in the brain required appropriate exposure at the right stage of development to function optimally
Chapter 4: Sam and Autism/Aspergers
Chapter 5: Danny and his ability to lie without missing a beat
• P100 learning to lie is an important milestone in our development of empathy
• P114 by age 4, most of the brain’s structural growth has taken place
Chapter 6: Ryan’s denial of caregiver attachment and how he became a bully and sexual abuser
• P129 the way a mother treats a baby early in life literally affects which dna gets transcribed and the physiological path the brain & body take
• P130 the more nurturant moms gave their babies greater ability to soothe themselves
Chapter 7: Trinity, the oldest of 8 full siblings + 9 other half siblings
• P155 in the face of inescapable trama, the brain does the opposite of fight/flight. It slows blood flow and heart rate and decreased memory function.
Chapter 8: Alyson and her ability to blend into whichever social group would accept her
• P178 the role of extended family, especially the mother’s may be more significant in child rearing than having the father around
• P182-3 Peer pressure is ridiculously powerful: people give obviously wrong answers or seriously injure an outsider
• P189 teens that follow the crowd tend to be healthier adults than those who ignore it.
• P192 juvenile prison doesn’t work
Chapter 9: Terrell, caught up in a crowd of boys who beat up a classmate
• p210 when a child’s needs aren’t cared for by the family, they will find somewhere else to “belong”
Chapter 10: Brandon, boy who was given TV instead of a parent
• P217 babies with clinically depressed mothers grow to have poorer language skills, more prone to behavior problems, depression, addiction and other mental illnesses
• P220 each hour watching baby Einstein or similar educational videos was linked with 6-8 fewer vocabulary words compared with infants who didn’t watch...by 2 yrs old, 90% watch 2-3 hrs per day
Chapter 11: Brenda, Mormon child bride and why we “follow the leader”
• P 244 the higher your social status the healthier you tend to be
• P254 chronic stress reduces your immune system response
Chapter 12: Asdis, Islandic mom vs the average American mom
• P279 many of the worlds “trouble spots” are marked by the largest gaps between rich and poor
• P282 greater income inequality is linked with shorter life span and higher rate infant death
Chapter 13: The Conclusion/Wrap Up
Chapter 1: West Hill Public School in Toronto has 6th graders interacting with a 6 month old
• P16 If people are kind to us, our health tends to be good - but, as we will see, we can actually die from rejection and isolation.
• P24 mirroring guides the growth of empathy, choice, and self awareness
Chapter 2: Jeremy, the boy with a facial defect who gets over protected by his parents and can’t handle any form of stress
• P40 we need relationships to be healthy: physically, emotionally, psychologically, etc. ... Seeing the face of a loved one nearby can lower blood pressure and levels of stress hormones
Chapter 3: Eugenia, raised in a Russian orphanage with not enough 1:1 connection to develop any attachment to other people
• P50 orphanages that are sterile and isolating are dangerous and sometimes deadly to babies and toddlers.
• P62-63 oxytocin/vasopressin literally cause monogamy, and blocking it causes social amnesia
• P68 so much in the brain required appropriate exposure at the right stage of development to function optimally
Chapter 4: Sam and Autism/Aspergers
Chapter 5: Danny and his ability to lie without missing a beat
• P100 learning to lie is an important milestone in our development of empathy
• P114 by age 4, most of the brain’s structural growth has taken place
Chapter 6: Ryan’s denial of caregiver attachment and how he became a bully and sexual abuser
• P129 the way a mother treats a baby early in life literally affects which dna gets transcribed and the physiological path the brain & body take
• P130 the more nurturant moms gave their babies greater ability to soothe themselves
Chapter 7: Trinity, the oldest of 8 full siblings + 9 other half siblings
• P155 in the face of inescapable trama, the brain does the opposite of fight/flight. It slows blood flow and heart rate and decreased memory function.
Chapter 8: Alyson and her ability to blend into whichever social group would accept her
• P178 the role of extended family, especially the mother’s may be more significant in child rearing than having the father around
• P182-3 Peer pressure is ridiculously powerful: people give obviously wrong answers or seriously injure an outsider
• P189 teens that follow the crowd tend to be healthier adults than those who ignore it.
• P192 juvenile prison doesn’t work
Chapter 9: Terrell, caught up in a crowd of boys who beat up a classmate
• p210 when a child’s needs aren’t cared for by the family, they will find somewhere else to “belong”
Chapter 10: Brandon, boy who was given TV instead of a parent
• P217 babies with clinically depressed mothers grow to have poorer language skills, more prone to behavior problems, depression, addiction and other mental illnesses
• P220 each hour watching baby Einstein or similar educational videos was linked with 6-8 fewer vocabulary words compared with infants who didn’t watch...by 2 yrs old, 90% watch 2-3 hrs per day
Chapter 11: Brenda, Mormon child bride and why we “follow the leader”
• P 244 the higher your social status the healthier you tend to be
• P254 chronic stress reduces your immune system response
Chapter 12: Asdis, Islandic mom vs the average American mom
• P279 many of the worlds “trouble spots” are marked by the largest gaps between rich and poor
• P282 greater income inequality is linked with shorter life span and higher rate infant death
Chapter 13: The Conclusion/Wrap Up