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readingwithrae 's review for:
Queenie
by Candice Carty-Williams
4 stars.
the evil (my reading slump) has been defeated. queenie was not an easy read, but an important one. after her longtime boyfriend asks to 'go on a break,' queenie finds herself lost, unable to cope without being in a relationship. this leads her to make a series of bad decisions, ranging from sleeping with toxic men to almost getting fired from her job, all the while constantly texting her 'on a break' boyfriend, asking when they're going to get back together. this eventually leads to panic attacks, hallucinations, and an overall mental breakdown when. all the while queenie is dealing with the trauma of her childhood, grandparents who don't believe in mental health issues due to the culture they grew up in, and a rift with one of her best friends. i won't spoil the ending, but i will say it's a hopeful one that shows even if everything isn't okay, there's always hope on the horizon.
this was not a fun read for me. while my traumas are nowhere near as intense as queenie's, her mid-twenties mental health spiral was so similar to my own that i had to put this down a few times and take a step back. it's not something i often talk about, but i've had OCD my entire life; from the moment i was old enough to make my own decisions, i was paralyzed by fear that if i chose the wrong thing, someone i loved would get hurt (or worse.) thus i've always doubted myself, not worn certain colors for fear they were "bad", needed to have things in certain places lest i spiral, gotten obsessed with certain numbers and letters being "bad," ect. however, i never told anyone about what i was going through until i was 26 (queenie's age in the book) and found myself unable to function, so paralyzed by fear and constant intrusive thoughts that i couldn't even get through the day without going catatonic. and while i'm not "better" now (i never will be, there's no cure for OCD), therapy and medication has made it so i can function and not let my mental illness control me.
if you've read the book, then my experience sounds very familiar to queenie's. hence why this was a hard read for me. it brought up a lot of what i went through, but seeing queenie learn about coping mechanisms (some that are very similar to my own) was so validating to read about. also, queenie's corgis (aka, what she calls her friend group) are so supportive of her throughout the book and reminded me of my own friends when i was going through my own mental breakdown, it just made me that much more thankful for them.
this is long (and if you've made it this far, thank you!), but this is an essential read to anyone who is going through life, fretting over not having it all figured out (which, let's be real, is everyone.)
the evil (my reading slump) has been defeated. queenie was not an easy read, but an important one. after her longtime boyfriend asks to 'go on a break,' queenie finds herself lost, unable to cope without being in a relationship. this leads her to make a series of bad decisions, ranging from sleeping with toxic men to almost getting fired from her job, all the while constantly texting her 'on a break' boyfriend, asking when they're going to get back together. this eventually leads to panic attacks, hallucinations, and an overall mental breakdown when
Spoiler
she confronts said boyfriend and finds out he has a shiny new girlfriend, and that when he wanted 'a break' he really meant he wanted to break upthis was not a fun read for me. while my traumas are nowhere near as intense as queenie's, her mid-twenties mental health spiral was so similar to my own that i had to put this down a few times and take a step back. it's not something i often talk about, but i've had OCD my entire life; from the moment i was old enough to make my own decisions, i was paralyzed by fear that if i chose the wrong thing, someone i loved would get hurt (or worse.) thus i've always doubted myself, not worn certain colors for fear they were "bad", needed to have things in certain places lest i spiral, gotten obsessed with certain numbers and letters being "bad," ect. however, i never told anyone about what i was going through until i was 26 (queenie's age in the book) and found myself unable to function, so paralyzed by fear and constant intrusive thoughts that i couldn't even get through the day without going catatonic. and while i'm not "better" now (i never will be, there's no cure for OCD), therapy and medication has made it so i can function and not let my mental illness control me.
if you've read the book, then my experience sounds very familiar to queenie's. hence why this was a hard read for me. it brought up a lot of what i went through, but seeing queenie learn about coping mechanisms (some that are very similar to my own) was so validating to read about. also, queenie's corgis (aka, what she calls her friend group) are so supportive of her throughout the book and reminded me of my own friends when i was going through my own mental breakdown, it just made me that much more thankful for them.
this is long (and if you've made it this far, thank you!), but this is an essential read to anyone who is going through life, fretting over not having it all figured out (which, let's be real, is everyone.)