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A review by toggle_fow
Ivanhoe by Walter Scott
5.0
I had heard the book Ivanhoe spoken of, but had not the slightest concept of its subject matter. My sole thought about it was "that sounds like something Anne of Green Gables probably liked" and I classed it mentally with gross things like Wuthering Heights.
As soon as I learned it was about Robin Hood, though, I bought it. And I LOVED it. Does it actually deserve five stars? Probably not. Did I get five stars of visceral enjoyment from it? Absolutely.
Half of the reviews on here seem like essays by literature grad students, so that's kind of intimidating. I don't know much about literary periods or styles. All I can say is that honestly, it's stylistically very similar to Ben-Hur.
Ivanhoe does the same thing Ben-Hur does, where the prose is regular, but the dialogue is all in 'thee' and 'thou.' It describes the heck out of things, although Ivanhoe is practically Hemingway compared to Ben-Hur as far as verbosity goes. There's similar weird racial/ethnic essentialism, where everyone is obsessed with their ethnic lineage and every race has iron-clad traits assigned to it. It treats characters the same -- all of them being somewhat flat and one-dimensional, but all of them treated to their time providing the third-person closed perspective.
The descriptiveness is pretty brief most of the time, except when a new character is introduced. The author is certain to let us know exactly what they were wearing, their body type, notable facial features, and what can be learned about their character from all of this. What's funny is, there is a ton of time in Ivanhoe dedicated to mistaken identity shenanigans -- as there should be in almost any Robin Hood story. But... you can always tell who to be suspicious of, because everyone that DOESN'T get at least a half-page of detailed description when they're introduced is always someone who's concealing their identity. Kind of gets in the way of effective plot twists.
Ivanhoe was a great guy, although I feel like it's a good thing that he only does things in the first and last 100 pages of his own book. In the abstract, I like him a lot, but spending that time with him imprisoned in Front-de-Boeuf's tower lowered him in my estimation. The racism and the crazy-eyed obsession with GLORY and CHIVALRY... maybe a little much. At the end I did like him a little better, when he's being all mother-hen about Richard's safety and people keep turning it back around on him.
"The king is being careless and unsafe!"
"Hmm... unsafe like... fighting a duel while having been GRAVELY WOUNDED not more than THREE DAYS AGO?"
Still, it seems likely that less is more as far as hanging out with Ivanhoe is concerned.
This is also true about Rowena. All I know about her is that she's beautiful and that she likes to be obeyed. That's cool, but... honestly what I know about Rebecca... makes her EIGHT THOUSAND TIMES the person that Rowena is. Or even eight thousand times the person Ivanhoe is. Or Robin Hood. Okay Rebecca is the best person in the entire book. She is better than all of them. It's good that she moved away, really. They don't deserve her.
I REALLY enjoyed getting to spot and guess at every character before their identity was fully revealed. The only people who were introduced straight up were the bad guys, and Cedric, basically. I didn't figure out that the Black Knight was actually Richard until the scene where they're passing threatening notes back and forth except... none of them can read. Iconic.
The constant crazy anti-Jewishness was truly overwhelming at times. Like, theoretically the Saxon/Norman rivalry was a huge part of the book's theme, but honestly that was practically a side plot compared to how much time everyone spent insulting Jews. I couldn't figure out whether it was supposed to be... just a Fact Of The Times? Rebecca was the best character in the book, clearly by design, so it couldn't have been the author's prejudice -- but also Rebecca's father exactly lived down to the stereotypes everyone ascribed to him? Everyone, bad guys and good, hated the Jews for no reason. It seemed very over-the-top.
Bois-Guilbert was wack. I think... he has... a somewhat fundamental misunderstanding of how God works...?
Like... what on Earth, frankly. I do not think it means what you think it means.
Also... he's an ATHEIST. Rebecca is like "but you're a Christian and I'm a Jew" and Bois-Guilbert is like, "PLEASE. don't pretend anyone actually believes any of those fairy tales!" Buddy, everyone you know believes those fairy tales. He's both weirdly entrenched in the specific hypocrisy of his own era, and also a villain ahead of his time. Crazy that God literally struck him dead.
Ivanhoe was super fun. However, my ideal alternate universe version would include several changes. For instance:
As soon as I learned it was about Robin Hood, though, I bought it. And I LOVED it. Does it actually deserve five stars? Probably not. Did I get five stars of visceral enjoyment from it? Absolutely.
Half of the reviews on here seem like essays by literature grad students, so that's kind of intimidating. I don't know much about literary periods or styles. All I can say is that honestly, it's stylistically very similar to Ben-Hur.
Ivanhoe does the same thing Ben-Hur does, where the prose is regular, but the dialogue is all in 'thee' and 'thou.' It describes the heck out of things, although Ivanhoe is practically Hemingway compared to Ben-Hur as far as verbosity goes. There's similar weird racial/ethnic essentialism, where everyone is obsessed with their ethnic lineage and every race has iron-clad traits assigned to it. It treats characters the same -- all of them being somewhat flat and one-dimensional, but all of them treated to their time providing the third-person closed perspective.
The descriptiveness is pretty brief most of the time, except when a new character is introduced. The author is certain to let us know exactly what they were wearing, their body type, notable facial features, and what can be learned about their character from all of this. What's funny is, there is a ton of time in Ivanhoe dedicated to mistaken identity shenanigans -- as there should be in almost any Robin Hood story. But... you can always tell who to be suspicious of, because everyone that DOESN'T get at least a half-page of detailed description when they're introduced is always someone who's concealing their identity. Kind of gets in the way of effective plot twists.
Ivanhoe was a great guy, although I feel like it's a good thing that he only does things in the first and last 100 pages of his own book. In the abstract, I like him a lot, but spending that time with him imprisoned in Front-de-Boeuf's tower lowered him in my estimation. The racism and the crazy-eyed obsession with GLORY and CHIVALRY... maybe a little much. At the end I did like him a little better, when he's being all mother-hen about Richard's safety and people keep turning it back around on him.
"The king is being careless and unsafe!"
"Hmm... unsafe like... fighting a duel while having been GRAVELY WOUNDED not more than THREE DAYS AGO?"
Still, it seems likely that less is more as far as hanging out with Ivanhoe is concerned.
This is also true about Rowena. All I know about her is that she's beautiful and that she likes to be obeyed. That's cool, but... honestly what I know about Rebecca... makes her EIGHT THOUSAND TIMES the person that Rowena is. Or even eight thousand times the person Ivanhoe is. Or Robin Hood. Okay Rebecca is the best person in the entire book. She is better than all of them. It's good that she moved away, really. They don't deserve her.
I REALLY enjoyed getting to spot and guess at every character before their identity was fully revealed. The only people who were introduced straight up were the bad guys, and Cedric, basically. I didn't figure out that the Black Knight was actually Richard until the scene where they're passing threatening notes back and forth except... none of them can read. Iconic.
The constant crazy anti-Jewishness was truly overwhelming at times. Like, theoretically the Saxon/Norman rivalry was a huge part of the book's theme, but honestly that was practically a side plot compared to how much time everyone spent insulting Jews. I couldn't figure out whether it was supposed to be... just a Fact Of The Times? Rebecca was the best character in the book, clearly by design, so it couldn't have been the author's prejudice -- but also Rebecca's father exactly lived down to the stereotypes everyone ascribed to him? Everyone, bad guys and good, hated the Jews for no reason. It seemed very over-the-top.
Bois-Guilbert was wack. I think... he has... a somewhat fundamental misunderstanding of how God works...?
People: Hey, do you think it's a good idea to abduct and rape a girl? You being a Christian and a Templar and all?
Bois-Guilbert: Bruh do you know how many Saracens I've killed? I could literally become Jack the Ripper at this point and still make it into Heaven, I've got so much back credit saved up from crusading.
Like... what on Earth, frankly. I do not think it means what you think it means.
Also... he's an ATHEIST. Rebecca is like "but you're a Christian and I'm a Jew" and Bois-Guilbert is like, "PLEASE. don't pretend anyone actually believes any of those fairy tales!" Buddy, everyone you know believes those fairy tales. He's both weirdly entrenched in the specific hypocrisy of his own era, and also a villain ahead of his time. Crazy that God literally struck him dead.
Ivanhoe was super fun. However, my ideal alternate universe version would include several changes. For instance:
• We spend approximately A TON more time with Robin Hood and the squad. I would like to know 400% more about this version of Robin. He's a yeoman right, not a noble? Why is Little John gone to Scotland? Is there a Maid Marian? Do they actually even give to the poor, or do they just divide everything the way they did the siege spoils? Inquiring minds need to know!
• Ivanhoe spends his convalescence growing as a person and later marries Rebecca instead because REALLY.
• Ivanhoe and Richard get to hang out a lot more.
• Less weird race stuff all around.
• More detail about the reconciliation between Cedric and Ivanhoe. Do they ever actually have a good relationship? Is forbearing to wear fancy clothes actually enough for Cedric to back down from disinheriting his only son?
• Include the scene where John comes groveling to Richard!!!!!!!!!! Do it!!!!!