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A review by ellelainey
Wytch & Prinze by Kassandra Lea
3.0
Book – Wytch & Prinze
Author – Kassandra Lea
Star rating - ★★★☆☆
Word Count – 10k
Cover – Gorgeous!
POV – 3rd person, one character
Would I read it again – No
Genre – LGBT, Fantasy, Short, Ghost, Fairytale
** COPY RECEIVED THROUGH NETGALLEY **
This is my second story by Lea and, unfortunately, it's another one that could have really benefited from a few experienced beta readers.
The story is a play on The Princess and the Pea, but if you're expecting anything not mentioned in the blurb, then you're going to be disappointed. This is one story that does what it says on the tin and no more. The blurb is basically all set up and fulfilled within the first page. The part where Jacob and Amelia get together to sabotage the bed didn't make sense to me when I read the blurb, as it sounded like it needed some editing, but it does make sense once you've read the story and know that it's basically The Princess and the Pea.
Sadly, though the POV was well chosen and implemented well, there were a few disconnects where it felt like we were being read a bedtime story and there was no true POV, such as the beginning and end, when it felt like we were being spoken to directly, which is a pet hate of mine. Another pet hate is starting with “Once upon a time” even though I get that it's a fairytale retelling, I don't find it necessary.
There are editing issues, but not as severe as the previous book I read by Lea, so that's an improvement. However, there are still little things that don't make sense like “just for a chase to get” and consistence error, example: repeatedly reminding us that Gruff is a dog, which is unnecessary, and the lack of consistency in description. At one point, we're overloaded with detail and the next there's a lack of detail that makes it confusing to follow.
My biggest problem is the language. The story starts off like a fairytale, with modern words, slang and phrases, that make it feel like a real retelling in a contemporary world. But, honestly, if Jacob hadn't used a mobile phone and talked about Amelie attending a rave party, I would have thought this story belonged in the 1800's from the way the characters spoke to each other. The modern phrasing only took place within the main text of the story, and felt forced, while all the dialogue belonged to old men:
“My beloved Jacob,” Renwick chirped. “It's always so wonderful to see you. And let me tell you, I just do not see you often enough.”
That ^ happens a lot. It comes across as the author being more comfortable with a historical genre, but attempting to make it a modern story. Honestly, I'd have been more convinced if this was a Victorian story. Maybe then the plot of sabotaging Renwick's bed, the uncertainty of revealing his feelings and the tip-toeing around the issue for so long would actually make sense. In fact, all of my issues with the story would make more sense if this was a historical story.
Overall, though, the story just wasn't consistent enough. The premise was great, but the execution just wasn't where it needed to be to do the story justice. With the editing issues, the serious consequences of Jacob's actions being so easily dismissed (“What if this little game of his cost Renwick his lecture spot? Or even worse, what if he nodded off on the drive there?”) meant that I couldn't give this more than a 3. For me, the 3 is for the potential of the story and the characters, but if I'd been judging on execution alone, it would have dipped to a 2 star.
Author – Kassandra Lea
Star rating - ★★★☆☆
Word Count – 10k
Cover – Gorgeous!
POV – 3rd person, one character
Would I read it again – No
Genre – LGBT, Fantasy, Short, Ghost, Fairytale
** COPY RECEIVED THROUGH NETGALLEY **
This is my second story by Lea and, unfortunately, it's another one that could have really benefited from a few experienced beta readers.
The story is a play on The Princess and the Pea, but if you're expecting anything not mentioned in the blurb, then you're going to be disappointed. This is one story that does what it says on the tin and no more. The blurb is basically all set up and fulfilled within the first page. The part where Jacob and Amelia get together to sabotage the bed didn't make sense to me when I read the blurb, as it sounded like it needed some editing, but it does make sense once you've read the story and know that it's basically The Princess and the Pea.
Sadly, though the POV was well chosen and implemented well, there were a few disconnects where it felt like we were being read a bedtime story and there was no true POV, such as the beginning and end, when it felt like we were being spoken to directly, which is a pet hate of mine. Another pet hate is starting with “Once upon a time” even though I get that it's a fairytale retelling, I don't find it necessary.
There are editing issues, but not as severe as the previous book I read by Lea, so that's an improvement. However, there are still little things that don't make sense like “just for a chase to get” and consistence error, example: repeatedly reminding us that Gruff is a dog, which is unnecessary, and the lack of consistency in description. At one point, we're overloaded with detail and the next there's a lack of detail that makes it confusing to follow.
My biggest problem is the language. The story starts off like a fairytale, with modern words, slang and phrases, that make it feel like a real retelling in a contemporary world. But, honestly, if Jacob hadn't used a mobile phone and talked about Amelie attending a rave party, I would have thought this story belonged in the 1800's from the way the characters spoke to each other. The modern phrasing only took place within the main text of the story, and felt forced, while all the dialogue belonged to old men:
“My beloved Jacob,” Renwick chirped. “It's always so wonderful to see you. And let me tell you, I just do not see you often enough.”
That ^ happens a lot. It comes across as the author being more comfortable with a historical genre, but attempting to make it a modern story. Honestly, I'd have been more convinced if this was a Victorian story. Maybe then the plot of sabotaging Renwick's bed, the uncertainty of revealing his feelings and the tip-toeing around the issue for so long would actually make sense. In fact, all of my issues with the story would make more sense if this was a historical story.
Overall, though, the story just wasn't consistent enough. The premise was great, but the execution just wasn't where it needed to be to do the story justice. With the editing issues, the serious consequences of Jacob's actions being so easily dismissed (“What if this little game of his cost Renwick his lecture spot? Or even worse, what if he nodded off on the drive there?”) meant that I couldn't give this more than a 3. For me, the 3 is for the potential of the story and the characters, but if I'd been judging on execution alone, it would have dipped to a 2 star.