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coravinia 's review for:
Sounds Fake But Okay: An Asexual and Aromantic Perspective on Love, Relationships, Sex, and Pretty Much Anything Else
by Kayla Kaszyca, Sarah Costello
The best part about this book for me was that it introduced me to the podcast, which I somehow had never come across before. The book reads like a podcast conversation, and the authors certainly include their host personalities in their writing. Since I listened to a bunch of episodes and got the gist of their vibes, this wasn't a shock to my system. However, if you go in expecting a regular book, that is not what you'll get. This is a podcast book. I'm wondering if that will be helpful in making the content more accessible to non-academic, non-queer theory types, but it wasn't for me. I do like the podcast though!
While I enjoyed the comments from podcast listeners and understand why Costello and Kaszyca wanted to include more voices, it did leave me feeling like the book was an incredibly informal, amateurish, and improperly written/researched qualitative study or something. The comments were the most interesting aspect of the book by far for me, and the analysis tying the common themes together was good, but the informality left a lot to be desired. Additionally, the authors felt the need to constantly add the qualifier that their perspectives were limited (yes, I get it, I picked up on that after you said it the first time and shared your personal stories), which was frustrating and took away from the ideas being discussed. I also have a strong dislike for when authors of informational nonfiction insert their snarky opinions on the subject matter throughout the text, so that was a negative aspect for me. I shouldn't be surprised since this is a podcast book, but I feel how I feel.
The chapter on gender covers ground explored in other asexual and gender texts, but I found the brief section on how asexual and aromantic folks have a tendency to feel detatched from gender to be relatable and intriguing. The comments from listeners were very similar to my feelings about my own gender (or lack thereof), and this is only the second time I've come across this kind of discussion.
In the end, this wasn't a bad book, but it wasn't a good book. More ace books out in the world is great, I'll take it, but there's nothing groundbreaking here. That said, it doesn't have to be. I think the possible increased accessibility of Sounds Fake But Okay is the book's strength.
Edit: I figured out why the book felt so weird to me and have lowered from 3 to 2 stars. Everything is filtered through the authors' personal lenses (white, middle class, college-educated, American, cis-women), which they acknowledge and seek to expand upon by including comments from their podcast listeners. However, their role as podcast hosts centers them and their experiences, and they write as though this is a podcast episode. The result is that the book comes off as them touting their experiences and opinions while occasionally filtering ideas from others as a way to strengthen their own legitimacy. Their role as podcast hosts, which centers their experiences, does not allow them to share personal stories without reinforcing the idea that the book is about THEM. Sounds Fake But Okay might be about the aspec lens, but being written by podcast hosts in the tone of their podcasts centers the authors, not the content. This makes the comments from listeners feel supplemental, not like genuine aspects of the arguments. This is why Angela Chen in Ace can discuss her personal experiences with asexuality without overtaking the stories of everyone else (I kept wondering why it worked for her but not for Costello and Kaszyca). Chem maintains distance as a reporter and does not center herself and her experiences. Whether Costello and Kaszyca wanted to or not, their role as podcast hosts inherently centers them in their podcast book, especially since they write with their podcast personas.
While I enjoyed the comments from podcast listeners and understand why Costello and Kaszyca wanted to include more voices, it did leave me feeling like the book was an incredibly informal, amateurish, and improperly written/researched qualitative study or something. The comments were the most interesting aspect of the book by far for me, and the analysis tying the common themes together was good, but the informality left a lot to be desired. Additionally, the authors felt the need to constantly add the qualifier that their perspectives were limited (yes, I get it, I picked up on that after you said it the first time and shared your personal stories), which was frustrating and took away from the ideas being discussed. I also have a strong dislike for when authors of informational nonfiction insert their snarky opinions on the subject matter throughout the text, so that was a negative aspect for me. I shouldn't be surprised since this is a podcast book, but I feel how I feel.
The chapter on gender covers ground explored in other asexual and gender texts, but I found the brief section on how asexual and aromantic folks have a tendency to feel detatched from gender to be relatable and intriguing. The comments from listeners were very similar to my feelings about my own gender (or lack thereof), and this is only the second time I've come across this kind of discussion.
In the end, this wasn't a bad book, but it wasn't a good book. More ace books out in the world is great, I'll take it, but there's nothing groundbreaking here. That said, it doesn't have to be. I think the possible increased accessibility of Sounds Fake But Okay is the book's strength.
Edit: I figured out why the book felt so weird to me and have lowered from 3 to 2 stars. Everything is filtered through the authors' personal lenses (white, middle class, college-educated, American, cis-women), which they acknowledge and seek to expand upon by including comments from their podcast listeners. However, their role as podcast hosts centers them and their experiences, and they write as though this is a podcast episode. The result is that the book comes off as them touting their experiences and opinions while occasionally filtering ideas from others as a way to strengthen their own legitimacy. Their role as podcast hosts, which centers their experiences, does not allow them to share personal stories without reinforcing the idea that the book is about THEM. Sounds Fake But Okay might be about the aspec lens, but being written by podcast hosts in the tone of their podcasts centers the authors, not the content. This makes the comments from listeners feel supplemental, not like genuine aspects of the arguments. This is why Angela Chen in Ace can discuss her personal experiences with asexuality without overtaking the stories of everyone else (I kept wondering why it worked for her but not for Costello and Kaszyca). Chem maintains distance as a reporter and does not center herself and her experiences. Whether Costello and Kaszyca wanted to or not, their role as podcast hosts inherently centers them in their podcast book, especially since they write with their podcast personas.