A review by andintothetrees
They F*** You Up: How To Survive Family Life by Oliver James

4.0

They F*** You Up takes its title from the Larkin poem This Be The Verse, and is an introductory thesis to the idea that our personalities, and level of mental health(-y-ness) are shaped by our childhood and not by genetics. Indeed, the earlier something happens in childhood the more crucial it is for our early development, as it lays down the brain’s basic pathways and shapes what we expect to happen in future. Often people discount the importance of events in babyhood/early childhood as they can’t be remembered, but Oliver James makes it blindingly obvious that these pre-memory times are actually what set the tone of our emotional development both in childhood and as adults. At times he labours his point a little too much – to the extent where his refusal to accept any influence/interference on the part of genetics feels almost bigoted – but overall this is an insightful and well-researched book, notwithstanding the author’s thankfully occasional bad attempts at humour.

... [Read the rest of my review here: https://whathannahread.wordpress.com/2012/08/25/they-f-you-up-by-oliver-james/]