kathie0309 's review for:

The 5 Love Languages: The Secret to Love That Lasts by Gary Chapman

2.0

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The underlying concept, that there are individual differences in how we want and show love, is good. I liked the examples and suggestions enough. However, it was quite heavy handed in drawing from the bible, as were the jesus references. My biggest problem was one of the last examples where he conducts an "experiment" with a woman who hates her husban, because he has not been loving, and vaguely abusive (curses and mistreats her)- he suggests she still love him and show him her love, because that's what jesus would have done...?? I have serious problems with it. Additionally, it puts a little too much individual responsibility in relationship satisfaction and maintaining love. I agree that staying in and working in a romantic relationship, and choosing to love the person you feel in love with are all within our control. However, the flip side seems to suggest that then falling out of love, or not staying in a relationship is due to the person "not doing enough" or other failures. This lack of acknowledgment of external effects feels a little tone deaf, especially for a book designed to "help".