A review by luckyonesoph
The Stars Too Fondly by Emily Hamilton

adventurous funny lighthearted fast-paced
  • Plot- or character-driven? Plot
  • Strong character development? No
  • Loveable characters? No
  • Diverse cast of characters? Yes
  • Flaws of characters a main focus? No

1.0

god the missed potential here pissed me OFF

  • in what world do phd-level scientists and post docs who are supposedly scientific geniuses in their late twenties talk/act as immaturely as this? just so juvenile
  • in what world do phd-level scientists and post docs accidentally end up on a spaceship that is headed for a planet so far away it will take them 14 years to get there and back and just shrug their shoulders and go "oh well! lets watch a romcom!"
  • phd-level scientists gain magical powers and use their powers to make that 7 year journey take only 3 weeks. what the hell, sure! not at all like the plot of a scooby doo cartoon!
    no charcater arcs. no character motivations. no character substance. no character anything other than a bunch of diversity labels being checked off.
  • the villain was mustache twirling the whole time and had no actual villainous motivations. you wrote a whole ass scifi novel with an evil villain and didnt even give him the desire to take over the world? lame!
  • sex scene with an AI hologram. sex. scene. with. an. ai. hologram. SEX SCENE WITH AN AI HOLOGRAM??
  • weird omniscient narrator that got way too comfortable talking to the audience like we are idiots. let me talk to it back real quick: no, i do not understand your sarcastic little nudges because i dont understand a single thing that is happening and its literally entirely your fault
  • did i mention the weird sex with an AI hologram
  • did i mention that said ai hologram had more character substance than any of the actual characters
  • i am taking the found family trope away from authors until they learn to do it justice. there was no proof that any of these people actually liked each other.
  • saw every plot "twist" coming from miles away. no, light years away.

all of the pieces were there for this to be a silly good time but oh my god the execution made me want to throw this book off of this fucking planet