A review by novelheartbeat
Endsinger by Jay Kristoff

5.0

Gods. I don't even know where to start.

One word to describe this book? INTENSE. There were so many scenes where I had the book in a death grip, on the edge of my seat frantically flipping pages. SHIT HAPPENS, GUYS. And it's crazy! I also forgot how beautiful Jay's prose was. It's a bit on the purple side, but not in a bad way at all. It's descriptive and flowing, painting a vivid picture of the world in your head. He has a way of captivating you, sucking you in. Yes, there were slow moments. But I never wanted to put the book down!

Um, Buruu. BURUU. *dies* Buruu is my favorite character EVER. He really is. Not just my favorite animal character, but favorite period. The only character that could tie with him is Warner. I wish I could be Yukiko so I could have Buruu for myself!!

Spoiler

But, you know, only until the last couple chapters....

Just like with Kinslayer, Yukiko and Buruu's bond blew me away. It was so, so freaking beautiful! The bond between them was so deep, and it is honestly my favorite character relationship I've ever read. They loved each other so much, watched out for each other, believed in one another, would die for one another. SO MANY BURUU/YUKIKO FEELS. So many times that things they said to each other made me misty! I love them so freaking much!

You've the best heart of anyone I've ever met, Buruu. No matter what you did, no matter what anyone says, I'll love you forever. Do you hear me? Forever and always.

Gods, I was so worried, Buruu.
NOTHING TO FEAR. YOU ARE MY HEART, REMEMBER? I DIE WITHOUT YOU.

I DO NOT GO TO EVERSTORM FOR TALK, YUKIKO. I GOT TO KILL OR DIE.
And you expect me to just sit here and pray?
WHO WILL BRING YOU BACK IF I FALL?
Why would I want to come back if you did?
FOOLISHNESS. YOU WILL BE A MOTHER SOON. MUCH TO LIVE FOR. MUCH TO FIGHT FOR. THIS WHOLE COUNTRY NEEDS YOU.
But I need you, Buruu. Don't you realize I can't do any of this without you?
I LOVE YOU, YUKIKO.
And I love you.

You'll take me with you?
TO THE HELLS AND BACK, IF YOU BID IT.
I should tell Michi and the others. I should pack. Give me half an hour.
I WOULD GIVE YOU THE SUN AND THE MOON, YUKIKO. I WOULD GIVE YOU UNENDING JOY AND DAYS OF PEACE AND BLUE SKIES TO LAUGH AND SING BENEATH. BUT THESE ARE NOT MINE TO GIVE.
Just give me you. That's all I need.
YOU HAVE ME. ALWAYS.

Spoiler

JUST WRITING THOSE DAMN QUOTES MADE ME START CRYING AGAIN. (And OMG, Buruu has a son?!?!! AAACKKK.)

This book ripped. my. heart. out. "Book hangover" is too mild a term for what this book gave me. I'm not even kidding. (I haven't had an ending get under my skin so badly since the series finale of Dexter!) I have never read anything so painful. (You know in Saw 2 where she has to jump into a pit of uncapped syringes and swim around in it? Yeah, it was like that. JAY KRISTOFF, YOU ARE A SADISTIC MAN.) I was yelling "NO NO NOOO" and bawling my freaking eyes out. Full on ugly cry, snot and everything. After I finished, I went back and read that scene again, and cried just as much the second time. WHY JAY, WHYYY?! HOW COULD YOU DO THAT?



How am I supposed to continue living after that?

Spoiler

HOW CAN I LIVE IN A WORLD WITH NO BURUU IN IT?! HOW?!?!! I was worried that he would die when I saw the cover - the fact that he's flying off toward the Earthcrusher alone (even though that's not what killed him) was NOT a good sign to me!! I don't know if that was intentional or not. I knew what he was going to do as soon as he started on his nonsense about there being no sense in both of them dying. Never for a second did I think he was pushing the fate on Yukiko. As soon as she was knocked of his back I started yelling and crying, hoping like hell that it wasn't going to happen. But it did. IT DID. AND LIFE CAN NEVER BE THE SAME. And here I thought Daken was the most horrible death I've ever read.

THAT ENDING KILLED ME. I'm dead. What you see now is just ghost Jessi, cursed to wonder the earth as only a shred of her former self. Soulless. Heartless. LIFELESS.

(too dramatic?)

*coughs* In all seriousness, though, I actually sat around for the rest of the day after I finished this. I was unable to do anything else because I felt so depressed. It may sound crazy, but that's how much this book affected me. I have NEVER had a book make me feel so much! I cried while reading this book. I cried after reading this book. I even cried writing this review (which has never, EVER happened before). I cried proofreading this review. I have PTSD. I need a therapist.

Spoiler

I am happy that Kin survived. I honestly thought he was dead, too. With all of the other characters dying, I didn't think there would be anyone left! And the part where we find out he didn't actually betray Yukiko? HOLY CRAP. I didn't even think twice when he left her, never imagined he was just playing his part! I was blown away when we found out he was still a good guy!

I freaking looooved meeting the other Arashitoras! EEEP! I loved meeting them and learning about their traditions and history. It was awesome!! I cannot recommend this series enough! A lot of people couldn't get into Stormdancer because it starts slow. STICK WITH IT. At least til Buruu makes an appearance, trust me. You can thank me later.

Favorite quotes:

There it is, Buruu. Home of my clan. Seat of Kitsune power in Shima.
IMPRESSIVE.
You think so?
...NOT REALLY, NO.
Well you're in a lovely mood today.
I WAS TRYING TO BE POLITE.
Maybe stick to what you do best? SARCASM IT IS, THEN.


ALL STORIES END. ALL SONGS CEASE. ALL OF US HAVE OUR ONE FRAGILE MOMENT IN THE SUN, THEN SLEEP FOREVERMORE. BUT MOST SPEND THAT MOMENT OF WARMTH IN MUTE DESPAIR, NEVER KNOWING WHAT IT IS TO LIVE A LIFE EXTRAORDINARY. NEVER KNOWING A SINGLE BREATH WHERE THEIR BLOOD WAS FIRE AND THEIR HEARTS WERE SINGING, A MOMENT THEY COULD GAZE BACK ON AND SAY IN TRUTH "THEN, IF NEVER AGAIN, I WAS ALIVE."



This review was originally posted on Novel Heartbeat. To see a breakdown of my assessment, please visit the full review here.