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A review by laurakh
Armada by Ernest Cline
3.0
Armada is good. Not as good as Ready Player One, but it's still a an enjoyable read. I didn't like it at first--why would he introduce a mysterious flying saucer in LITERALLY THE FIRST SENTENCE and then make us trudge through chapters upon chapters of introduction into Zack's everyday life? It picks up towards the middle, though, and I really liked the ending.
There were still many issues with the book. The pop culture references that had a purpose and were explained in RPO, here were shoehorned in seemingly just for Cline's own enjoyment. The battle scenes were described in extreme detail, but character development was glossed over and some characters were ignored all together. (Seriously, what was even the point of Ellen??) Lex may as well have been named "convenient solution: sexy edition." However, I did end up enjoying the book, so I can forgive Cline for all of this, except for one thing: ZACK'S MOM.
Zack's mom is described as "ridiculously beautiful" and "insanely hot" in the space of 3 sentences by HER SON, as well as the toughest and "coolest woman he's ever met." He calls himself "Oedipal" (??) while describing her looks, which was an odd and disturbing addition. She's also a loving, young, witty, video-game loving cancer nurse. She cooks Zack 2 meals in the 2 days the book takes place: breakfast-for-dinner and dinner-for-breakfast. The first one I could accept, but dinner-for-breakfast? She makes him a MEATLOAF in the morning. I left for school at 6:30 in high school. She would have had to wake up at like 4:30 in the morning to make a MEATLOAF BEFORE SCHOOL. And his mom wasn't even sure he would have time to eat it! She just MADE HIM A MEATLOAF on the off chance he would want some before school. All this despite the crazy long hours she supposedly works in the cancer ward saving lives. She also calls him seven, count them, SEVEN NICKNAMES in her introductory chapter. They are as follows: honey, kiddo, babe, kid, ace, maverick, and sweetheart. She tells him repeatedly that she'll give him money to go to any school to study whatever he wants or do whatever he wants. She is possibly the most over-the-top perfect character to ever be written. Yes, I'm being dramatic here, but this was so obvious in just the first few sentences about her that i was rolling my eyes continually all through Chapter 4. Writing-wise, she's terrible, yet kind of in a hilarious way. (Lex is also perfect. She is as beautiful, witty, video game obsessed, and perfect for Zack as his mom, but *edgy* because she's the sexy love interest.) I think Ernest Cline has some work to do writing girl characters that are more real than his flawless fantasies.
That being said, overall I did enjoy it!
There were still many issues with the book. The pop culture references that had a purpose and were explained in RPO, here were shoehorned in seemingly just for Cline's own enjoyment. The battle scenes were described in extreme detail, but character development was glossed over and some characters were ignored all together. (Seriously, what was even the point of Ellen??) Lex may as well have been named "convenient solution: sexy edition." However, I did end up enjoying the book, so I can forgive Cline for all of this, except for one thing: ZACK'S MOM.
Zack's mom is described as "ridiculously beautiful" and "insanely hot" in the space of 3 sentences by HER SON, as well as the toughest and "coolest woman he's ever met." He calls himself "Oedipal" (??) while describing her looks, which was an odd and disturbing addition. She's also a loving, young, witty, video-game loving cancer nurse. She cooks Zack 2 meals in the 2 days the book takes place: breakfast-for-dinner and dinner-for-breakfast. The first one I could accept, but dinner-for-breakfast? She makes him a MEATLOAF in the morning. I left for school at 6:30 in high school. She would have had to wake up at like 4:30 in the morning to make a MEATLOAF BEFORE SCHOOL. And his mom wasn't even sure he would have time to eat it! She just MADE HIM A MEATLOAF on the off chance he would want some before school. All this despite the crazy long hours she supposedly works in the cancer ward saving lives. She also calls him seven, count them, SEVEN NICKNAMES in her introductory chapter. They are as follows: honey, kiddo, babe, kid, ace, maverick, and sweetheart. She tells him repeatedly that she'll give him money to go to any school to study whatever he wants or do whatever he wants.
Spoiler
She also, predictably, is so freakin fertile that she gets pregnant after having sex with Xavier ONCE at the end of the book. Presumably, baby Xavier will be showered with love, nicknames, and meatloaf.That being said, overall I did enjoy it!