A review by anotherdayreading
They Called Us Exceptional: And Other Lies That Raised Us by Prachi Gupta

4.0

The description and reviews of this book weren’t accurate or at least did not seem so to me. I suppose we all read books differently. Others have said this is a book about the model immigrant experience but that was only a small part of this particular story. To me, this book was about how the author, her mother, and her brother were terrorized by a father with a Borderline Personality Disorder that was complicated by his identity as a Hindu Indian immigrant who strongly bought into the gender roles and the emphasis on high achievement. For anyone who has experienced verbal and psychological abuse, this book would be overwhelming. It was difficult enough for me to read without having had that experience. I wonder if many people just tolerate it and normalize it and therefore were not as impacted by the author’s descriptions.

I picked up this book because I am interested in different immigrant experiences, like and unlike those of my own family. However, the focus of this one was more on the impacts of abuse caused by untreated mental illness. The author has done so much work to understand and survive what have been extremely difficult relationships with each of her immediate family members. My heart breaks for her. I hope she has the love and support and understanding from a support group or family of choice. I hope she finds different values than the ones her father insisted she hold, values that are within reach and bring her peace.