A review by cwiita
The Friend by Sigrid Nunez

challenging dark emotional funny inspiring reflective medium-paced

• Plot- or character-driven? Character
• Strong character development? It's complicated
• Loveable characters? It's complicated
• Diverse cast of characters? No
• Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

4.5

The Friend tells the story of grief in a light which is rarely explored. It follows the story of a woman mourning the unexpected loss of an unnamed long-time friend and mentor. He leaves behind his dog, a massive Great Dane named Apollo, who falls into the reluctant narrator’s care. Coping with the threat of eviction and the lingering pain of loss, the woman and the dog face waves of grief and change together. The woman— a writer—uses her insightful, inquisitive, and witty narrative voice to unpack and cope with the feelings she faces in the wake of such a major loss. Her stream-of-consciousness reflections on life, death, pets, love, and loss are endlessly intelligent and thought provoking. In between the lines about grief and love, there are poignant reflections on womanhood, feminism, and what it means to be a woman in a world dominated by men— particularly in the field of writing.

Although not technically a memoir, this book is best suited for those who have a certain affinity for memoirs or stream-of-consciousness narrations which deal with situations that are not unlike real life. Nunez’s prose is often academic, and contains many references to the field of writing and academia itself, seeing as the narrator is a writer and teacher of writing. Anyone younger than mid-high school age may struggle with the ongoing theme of loss in the book as well as the frequent references to collegiate and professorial experiences. I think someone looking for an independent read and hoping to explore the effects that loss and love can have on mental health will be best served by this introspective book.

As someone who has spent a lifetime in the grips of grief while usually in the company of dogs, the reflections in the novel were incredibly impactful for me. I purchased this book shortly after it came out in 2018 and attempted to read it then, but found that the content often went above my head, as I was fifteen at the time. I put the book down about thirty pages in and picked it up again now, five years later. Initially, I was worried that the novel was too slow to start. It takes forty pages for the narrator to acquire the dog, and another sixty for her to really click with him. In spite of it all, I was hooked the whole time. The prose is often academic, as I mentioned before, but is incredibly readable to the right audience. Because I take interest in writing as a profession and enjoy memoir/memoir-esque novels, The Friend was the perfect fit for me. Nunez’s voice is strong and her style of narration serves its purpose well— it comes across as an entirely genuine reflection made by someone processing a loss. The jumps in time, sudden starts and ends to sentences, and gaps in reasoning are all characteristics of a grieving mind. In some ways, the last quarter of the book seemed rushed. However, when I reached the last page, the slow build up and subsequently short falling action all began to seem intentional. From start to finish, structurally and compositionally, The Friend offers a deeply touching and intentionally layered commentary on loss.