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A review by litwithleigh
Stillhouse Lake by Rachel Caine
1.0
One sentence review: Bogus af
SYNOPSIS
Gina Royal, now Gwen Proctor, has spent four years hiding out from legions of dedicated haters after her husband Melvin's crimes were brought to life. She finally feels at home in Stillhouse Lake, but is it too good to be true?
MY OPINION
Quick facts: 1) I've had this book on my TBR for a hot min. 2) Woman finds out she's married to a serial killer is one of my fave tropes. 3) I am aware that Rachel Caine has since passed due a rare type of cancer, and I apologize if my salty reviews seems heartless and in bad taste. My sympathies go out to Rachel's family, friends, and loved ones. My review is strictly about this book, and is not a commentary on Rachel as a person.
I went into this book knowing that it would be a popcorn thriller and that yeetage of disbelief is required. However, the yeetage requirements were simply too high. At first, the pace was pacing and I appreciated that the author didn't dilly-dally with turgid prose. The family dynamics and Gwen's mental state are set up quickly and clearly. But then... it all crumbled like feta cheese. So why didn't I DNF? In short, I was past the point of no return when I realized that nothing – not even a cosign by Beyonce – could save this book from 1-star territory.
My first issue: it was relentlessly repetitive. I thought nobody could repeat themselves like Liv is Stay Awake, but Gwen said hold my mfn conceal and carry permit! She doesn't miss a chance to tell us how her life has been changed because of Melvin, how Melvin was just putting on an act, and how her kids couldn't lead normal lives because of Melvin's atrocities. WE GET IT!!!! You don't need to spell it out to us. Nobody expects your life to be regular degular when your husband was running a chop shop out of his garage. Not every interaction needs to be compared and contrasted with your Ted Bundy ass ex. Let's move on.
Then around 40% ish we get a download of their summer akin to your grandma emailing you about her exciting week of Bridge and bird watching. The whole "someone used your ex-husband's disposal method to dump a girl that was also very much your ex-husband's type" event is forgotten for a solid 50+ pages. You'd think as the world's most paranoid woman, this whole ting would set you on edge. Perhaps you'd like to find out who tf did this? But no, instead we get to read about Gwen & Sam's HGTV summer reno special that culminates in a sweaty ass kiss. Cool cool cool...
But the source of my dismay with this book is Gwen. Logic? Never heard of that. She had three diff alarm codes for her and her kids but didn't have a security camera??? You can't be dead ass? WHY ARE SECURITY CAMERAS ALWAYS LEFT OUT???? Well she finally did, when she decided to let random cabin man/resident handyman Sam watch her kids for 12 hours while she travels states to spit on a plastic partition separating herself and Melvin. Great use of your time.
Next, Gwen decides to spill the beans to Sam about who she is. Yes, you read that right. The woman who has underground railroad-ed her kids around for four years in fear of being sussed out by an unrealistic number of internet trolls decides to sing like a canary to a man she's known as long as a fart in the wind. At this point, I chucked the book at my unsuspecting husband in anger.
Literal Darwinism behaviour. You're out here paying for fraudulent IDs with Bitcoin and teaching yourself SWAT breach patterns but yet you fess up to some solivagent who's allegedly writing a book???? FOR WHAT?????? But what did I expect from a lady who eats someone's homecooked meal and then randomly asks "who iz you?" and when he goes "well who iz YOU??" she replies "that's none of your business." ????? WHAT???
Anyways. Everything unfolded in true Scooby Doo quality, but at that point I was just happy to be done. This book was trashola. Another popcorn thriller that goes for too much while failing to manage the basics (how did Gwen pay taxes? Doesn't an online business seem counterintuitive to staying under the radar? What kind of budgeting app did Gwen use to only spend 100k in 4 years?). I can't believe there's six books in this series. Well, actually, the way Gwen behaves so mindlessly and irrationally, I guess she does need six books to figure out how to walk and chew gum at the same time. Too harsh? No worries, I punched my one-way ticket to hell years ago.
PROS AND CONS
Pros: I liked the premise
Cons: don't make me repeat myself
SYNOPSIS
Gina Royal, now Gwen Proctor, has spent four years hiding out from legions of dedicated haters after her husband Melvin's crimes were brought to life. She finally feels at home in Stillhouse Lake, but is it too good to be true?
MY OPINION
Quick facts: 1) I've had this book on my TBR for a hot min. 2) Woman finds out she's married to a serial killer is one of my fave tropes. 3) I am aware that Rachel Caine has since passed due a rare type of cancer, and I apologize if my salty reviews seems heartless and in bad taste. My sympathies go out to Rachel's family, friends, and loved ones. My review is strictly about this book, and is not a commentary on Rachel as a person.
I went into this book knowing that it would be a popcorn thriller and that yeetage of disbelief is required. However, the yeetage requirements were simply too high. At first, the pace was pacing and I appreciated that the author didn't dilly-dally with turgid prose. The family dynamics and Gwen's mental state are set up quickly and clearly. But then... it all crumbled like feta cheese. So why didn't I DNF? In short, I was past the point of no return when I realized that nothing – not even a cosign by Beyonce – could save this book from 1-star territory.
My first issue: it was relentlessly repetitive. I thought nobody could repeat themselves like Liv is Stay Awake, but Gwen said hold my mfn conceal and carry permit! She doesn't miss a chance to tell us how her life has been changed because of Melvin, how Melvin was just putting on an act, and how her kids couldn't lead normal lives because of Melvin's atrocities. WE GET IT!!!! You don't need to spell it out to us. Nobody expects your life to be regular degular when your husband was running a chop shop out of his garage. Not every interaction needs to be compared and contrasted with your Ted Bundy ass ex. Let's move on.
Then around 40% ish we get a download of their summer akin to your grandma emailing you about her exciting week of Bridge and bird watching. The whole "someone used your ex-husband's disposal method to dump a girl that was also very much your ex-husband's type" event is forgotten for a solid 50+ pages. You'd think as the world's most paranoid woman, this whole ting would set you on edge. Perhaps you'd like to find out who tf did this? But no, instead we get to read about Gwen & Sam's HGTV summer reno special that culminates in a sweaty ass kiss. Cool cool cool...
But the source of my dismay with this book is Gwen. Logic? Never heard of that. She had three diff alarm codes for her and her kids but didn't have a security camera??? You can't be dead ass? WHY ARE SECURITY CAMERAS ALWAYS LEFT OUT???? Well she finally did, when she decided to let random cabin man/resident handyman Sam watch her kids for 12 hours while she travels states to spit on a plastic partition separating herself and Melvin. Great use of your time.
Next, Gwen decides to spill the beans to Sam about who she is. Yes, you read that right. The woman who has underground railroad-ed her kids around for four years in fear of being sussed out by an unrealistic number of internet trolls decides to sing like a canary to a man she's known as long as a fart in the wind. At this point, I chucked the book at my unsuspecting husband in anger.
Literal Darwinism behaviour. You're out here paying for fraudulent IDs with Bitcoin and teaching yourself SWAT breach patterns but yet you fess up to some solivagent who's allegedly writing a book???? FOR WHAT?????? But what did I expect from a lady who eats someone's homecooked meal and then randomly asks "who iz you?" and when he goes "well who iz YOU??" she replies "that's none of your business." ????? WHAT???
Anyways. Everything unfolded in true Scooby Doo quality, but at that point I was just happy to be done. This book was trashola. Another popcorn thriller that goes for too much while failing to manage the basics (how did Gwen pay taxes? Doesn't an online business seem counterintuitive to staying under the radar? What kind of budgeting app did Gwen use to only spend 100k in 4 years?). I can't believe there's six books in this series. Well, actually, the way Gwen behaves so mindlessly and irrationally, I guess she does need six books to figure out how to walk and chew gum at the same time. Too harsh? No worries, I punched my one-way ticket to hell years ago.
PROS AND CONS
Pros: I liked the premise
Cons: don't make me repeat myself