A review by redsea
Kill Switch by Penelope Douglas

adventurous challenging dark emotional mysterious sad tense slow-paced
  • Plot- or character-driven? Character
  • Strong character development? Yes
  • Loveable characters? It's complicated
  • Diverse cast of characters? It's complicated
  • Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

3.0

this was deep gosh 😭
okay so the plot was a bit nonexistent, gabriel wasn’t as big and scary in this one  than hideaway so there was no external plot besides the romance

i literally despised damon for majority of this book but, i’m kinda warming up to him as much as i hate to admit. his past is so fucking sad like i was crying, it made me feel sick, he deserved sm better.“Because eleven-year-olds shouldn’t be thinking about how to end their lives.” 😭😭
but a lot of it was TOO intense sometimes i’m like calm down. esp when he looked at banks like that i’m like no stop. his fan cast is so fine tho LMAO but yea i liked way more at the end. a lot of his behaviour from book 1 was like justified and i didn’t like it like he was bordering of SA and it wasn’t ok but like three sides to every story and idk how i feel
but bro wtf 😭 him and erika are fucking siblings what.

“I thought back to the boy in the fountain, bloody with a silent tear streaming down his face, because something—or many things—happened to him that he didn’t want to talk about, and now he was nearly a man who would never cry again and only made other people bleed.”

this is so sad tho

but r u serious, this guys liked helplessness cos it made him feel powerful like ew that’s gross

first off i wish that they had a better wrap up to the gabriel thing. it was resolved far too quick for how long the book is. like they could’ve framed michaels dad, done so much more. but rika’s mum is his mum wtf. i feel so bad for her like fuck gabriel, i cant wait till evan gets what’s coming for killing rikas dad. also idk if she knew what was happening to damon but she didn’t even fight for him like. it was completely out of the blue tho and it’s a bit weird cos like, rika and damon kissed in corrupt i think 🤢🤢🤢🤢🤢 plus he literally told her she’s turning him on in this fucjing book, dying

but this “Leave her alone, Damon.”
“Suck me, Fane,” he shot back.”
reminded me of their dynamic in nightfall
but rika was such a baddie in this book i loved her sm. “She just smirked at me, a glint in her blue eyes. “Queen takes rook.”
i also needed more kai and banks i miss them sm. SHES FREAKING PREGANT AND WE DIDNT GET ANYTHING IM SO SAD, kai would be the best dad ever.

i also need more michael/kai+damon/will friendship moments like they’re very divided i think. i loved the whole group together tho like the prank on the prof, want more of that. i love how alex is part of it too
“Private?” Damon teased. “Like  steam-room private? I’m game.”
this is too funny
also
“That’s how you thank three females who just saved your ass?” Rika remarked, sounding all too amused.
And then Alex tipped her chin at me, taunting, “Who’s your daddy?”

anyways , i liked winter. i thought her being blind added an extra layer to the story, made it deeper. i liked how she danced and i like how she kept fighting! but we only rlly got her w damon so i feel like i don’t know her that well. arion was a dick so when winter told her to “bite me” iconic.  also she stood up to damon like when he told everyone he was her first kiss and she went “Don’t think for a second that you were any good at it, either,”
that scene were will saved her was sweet plus this “If you hurt Winter, you’ll deal with me,” he said.”

they were super intense. I ADORED THEIR CHILDHOOD SCENES so freaking cute and innocent. when damon gave her the rosary and said “now you’re bac too” 🥺 also it wasn’t even damon’s fault like it was her dads fault she went blind. poor guy was just a scared 🥺 but like when he said he’d kiss her when they were older SO CUTE also later on the driving scene omg i loved it. the way they describe colours MY HEART and the hospital scene. damon getting excited cos he thinks her dogs band is russian cos of him LMAO

damon protecting winter from her parents fight was so sweet “But before I could think of what to do, the hands left my mouth and waist, and instead came up and covered my ears as he pulled me close.
“Shhhh,” he soothed, his mouth next to my temple.”

“I brought my hand up to cover the sobs escaping, and that’s when he brought me into his chest, still holding his hand over one ear, but pressing the other into his heart”

some other quotes i like:
“Your sister lacks any depth to be interesting, and I hate my house. It’s so dark there.” He paused, then continued. “It all fucking disappeared when you were dancing, though. It made the world prettier. I liked it.”
“Can I hide there with you?” he asked.”

“she was eight again, and I was eleven, unable to stop looking at her.”

“You could never not draw attention,” he finally said. “And it has nothing to do with you being blind.”
The way he said it—gentle and thoughtful—made heat rise to my cheeks, and I didn’t know if he meant my dancing or if I was pretty, but I smiled to myself, suddenly warm all over.”

“I can walk faster,” I told him. “I can. I didn’t mean—”
“Shut up and hold me tight.”

“My heart…” he said. “Shit.”
I remembered what he said last week at my house. Do you know what I have to do to get it to beat like that?
“I scared you.”
“Not an emotion I’m used to being on the receiving end of,” he mused.”

“But then, tightening her hold, she slowly brought herself in and hugged me.
My chest swelled, aching like shit, and everything washed over me at once. Her smell, her warmth, her hair and body… My lungs caved, and I didn’t know why, but it felt so fucking good. I wrapped my arms around her like a steel band, almost feeling relief at holding something—or someone—for the first time in forever.”

“I went weak for a moment, the light in her eyes the most beautiful thing I’d seen in a long time.”

“But I just shook my head, keeping my voice low in case her parents were still awake. “I don’t know, baby,” I told her. “Just don’t let me go, okay?”

“Come on,” he says, pulling me through the maze. “You’ll like it.”
“What is it?”
I breathed hard, stumbling to keep up as he races through the other side of the maze and beyond the hedges.
He wants to show me something, but I really just want to stay in the fountain. It’s fun in there—so secret.
But he’s so happy now, and I’m kind of curious.
I can’t stop smiling. My belly has flutters in it.”

“I look over my shoulder, meeting his eyes, and he’s right there, staring at me, almost nose to nose.
Something fills my chest, and he’s so close, it makes me feel so weird. Like something is pulling me.
I can’t look away, and he holds my eyes, too, and it’s like I can’t stop it. The pull.
His lips touch mine, and I feel like I’m on a roller coaster.
It makes me stop breathing as tickles hit me everywhere, and then I pull away.
I clutch the board tighter, heat rising to my face. “Why did you do that?”
“I didn’t do it. You did it,” he charges.
“I did not.”
God, I’m so embarrassed.
I glance back at him, trying to see if he’s mad, but he looks just as embarrassed as me.
I didn’t kiss him, did I? It was him.
Or both of us. Ughhhh…
He nudges me. “Hurry. Come on.”

“He turns away and lets out a breath as he stares ahead. “I might kiss you again when we’re older,” he says. “Just so you know.”

“But I want her to come back,” Damon says. “Please.”
Damon rushes over and takes my hand, pulling me away from the hole and putting himself in front of me again.
“Leave her alone!” he fights. “I’ll help her! I’ll do it!”

the arrest made me sad like i feel for both of them. the rika thing he did pretending it was winter was so fucked up tho and inexcusable.

i liked their emotional connection but they hated each other for majority of the book when it could’ve been solved by being honest which kinda sucks. but the way he went to the treehouse went he went away 🥺 and HIM BUILDING A FOUNTAIN FOR HER PLS. also him as a builder and her as a ballerina is so freaking cute i cant. also she’s pregnant too???? i wanted a scene at the maine place that would’ve been cute
um the threesome w will tho wtf 😭 all i have to say is AGAIN???? and damon and will too nah 😭

but i liked the scene when they were all pulling the prank together
“We all broke into laughter again, picturing the sight, and my head was light and my stomach unknotted for the first time in a long time. I hadn’t laughed like this in a while.
My head fell back, exhausted from the day and night, but kind of happy.
Really happy, actually.”

the bonus chapter of iverson being born 🥹🥹 so freaking sweet, i love how alex gave him the hat lmao, alex and damon have an interesting bond. i need for kai and damon/will friendship moments tho ughhh

i liked the misha and will moments
“I instantly recognized him. Misha, his little cousin. Grandson of a state senator but looked more like the prodigy of Sid and Nancy.
“What the hell are you doing here?” Will asked him. “You’re like twelve.”
“And?”
Smart-ass kid.”

also He rose up out of his chair, the hint of disdain on his face as he picked up the hoodie. “Not every woman in this world will be for your personal amusement,” he bit out, staring down at me. “Someday one of them will be your kid, and you’re gonna damn well worry when she’s drawing the wrong kind of attention.”
“You teach your daughter to hide in everyone else’s world,” I shot back, “and I’ll teach mine everyone else exists in hers. Go fuck yourself, and leave the kid alone.”

kai is literally right abt most things and i don’t like how the author makes it like their is other perspectives 😡

damon and will have a bond ig but i don’t like they’re friendship cos they enable each other’s bad behaviour
this is sad tho “I could drown you  again.”
“Then do it,” he fired back. “Do it, because I got nothin’ to lose, D. Nothing.”

kai just being the best horseman “Well, Kai’s the nicest,” Rika’s friend, Claudia, said.
“He’s bad in all the right places, though,” someone else teased.
“He and Damon look a lot alike,” Claudia continued. “Both dark hair and eyes, but Kai’s more…manicured, I guess you could say. Damon always looks like he just shifted back to his human form after being a wolf all night.” She laughed. “His hair and clothes are never in order…”

will describing emory “Sexy with chocolate-colored hair and olive skin. Fat lips and dark eyes taunting me behind some seductive, librarian glasses.”

“Fucker, no one’s talking to you,” Will barked back.
I snorted, and I could feel Damon fume next to me.
Will was fun. I think I liked him.”

excited for nightfall but i’m scared 
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