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A review by rballenger
Twilight by Stephenie Meyer
1.0
Type of read: Commuter read.
What made me pick it up: Desperation.
Overall rating: Here's the thing, I have never in my life wanted to read Twilight. I picked it up once when it was first published and I couldn't make it that far in because of the number of grammatical errors. From then on, I have avoided it like the plague. I had a big project at work that I needed some easy reading to get through and I figured now was as good a time as any. For me, 'Twilight' was comical. So many plot holes, so much forced writing, so much just overall creepy/skeezieness. I'm not a stranger to the mystical, magical, and abnormal mixing with human and having a love fest but dang, there are so many better vampire romances out there. Never in a million years will I pick up another book in the Twilight series (or watch the movies), nor could I ever recommend this book...unless it was for the laughs.
Random thoughts while reading:
-What does Bella have against volleyball?
-Why did Meyer choose some of this language, there's no way in heck a teenager would talk like this.
-The continual rain makes me laugh for some reason.
-Wait, what year is it? Why is email the way she's talking to her mom? Did I miss something?
-Why is Bella so clumsy? And why is she continually worried about gym?
-Who talks like this?! Isn't this book set in, like, nowadays? Why do they talk like this? Not just the Cullen's...I could almost forgive it if it were just them, but why does Bella talk so weirdly?!
-The whole relationship is predatory...creepy age gap, and an actual predatory creature...I don't know, just not liking it.
-Why is it not weird that he just slips into her house and watches her sleep? And that he's been watching her without her knowledge for an extended period of time? Who hurt Bella that this is normal?!
-"You are my life now...breakfast time!" What in the actual...
-The thought of vampires waiting for a thunderstorm to play a friendly family game of baseball just has me cackling. Like, what?! And then it's just like jets versus sharks for Bella...good gravy.
-"I really really hate Forks." Ah, yes, and I really really hate the dialogue in this book.
-I feel like I missed the part in every other telling about vampires that they are like stone. I thought that was gargoyles. Or are the Cullen's just special? Why is their skin like solid rock!?
-The vampires know how to get into Bella's house, find her keys, and find her in the middle of nowhere, but they don't know how to get to her house without waking her up and having her tell them where to go...logic.
-Ok, again, these all-powerful, magical beings can do so many things and hear so well but they apparently can't hear the second half of a phone conversation happening in the same building they are all standing in.
-Are vampires lions now? What's with all the roaring?
-Welp, that's a huge number of hours I will never get back in my life.
What made me pick it up: Desperation.
Overall rating: Here's the thing, I have never in my life wanted to read Twilight. I picked it up once when it was first published and I couldn't make it that far in because of the number of grammatical errors. From then on, I have avoided it like the plague. I had a big project at work that I needed some easy reading to get through and I figured now was as good a time as any. For me, 'Twilight' was comical. So many plot holes, so much forced writing, so much just overall creepy/skeezieness. I'm not a stranger to the mystical, magical, and abnormal mixing with human and having a love fest but dang, there are so many better vampire romances out there. Never in a million years will I pick up another book in the Twilight series (or watch the movies), nor could I ever recommend this book...unless it was for the laughs.
Random thoughts while reading:
-What does Bella have against volleyball?
-Why did Meyer choose some of this language, there's no way in heck a teenager would talk like this.
-The continual rain makes me laugh for some reason.
-Wait, what year is it? Why is email the way she's talking to her mom? Did I miss something?
-Why is Bella so clumsy? And why is she continually worried about gym?
-Who talks like this?! Isn't this book set in, like, nowadays? Why do they talk like this? Not just the Cullen's...I could almost forgive it if it were just them, but why does Bella talk so weirdly?!
-The whole relationship is predatory...creepy age gap, and an actual predatory creature...I don't know, just not liking it.
-Why is it not weird that he just slips into her house and watches her sleep? And that he's been watching her without her knowledge for an extended period of time? Who hurt Bella that this is normal?!
-"You are my life now...breakfast time!" What in the actual...
-The thought of vampires waiting for a thunderstorm to play a friendly family game of baseball just has me cackling. Like, what?! And then it's just like jets versus sharks for Bella...good gravy.
-"I really really hate Forks." Ah, yes, and I really really hate the dialogue in this book.
-I feel like I missed the part in every other telling about vampires that they are like stone. I thought that was gargoyles. Or are the Cullen's just special? Why is their skin like solid rock!?
-The vampires know how to get into Bella's house, find her keys, and find her in the middle of nowhere, but they don't know how to get to her house without waking her up and having her tell them where to go...logic.
-Ok, again, these all-powerful, magical beings can do so many things and hear so well but they apparently can't hear the second half of a phone conversation happening in the same building they are all standing in.
-Are vampires lions now? What's with all the roaring?
-Welp, that's a huge number of hours I will never get back in my life.