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A review by kimball_hansen
Peaceful Parent, Happy Kids: How to Stop Yelling and Start Connecting by Laura Markham
4.0
I really, really like this author. I want to observe her as a parent IRL. She gives me Hope for being a good parent. These books demand to be reread and internalized. I love all the examples she gives. It seemed like this book encourages to not let your baby cry. She's one of those very anti-punishment and discipline type people. I hate when I hear convincing evidence on both sides, you get that with diet, exercise, and now raising kids. It's like there's no wrong answer but then there is. And that just depends on who the person is.
Notes:
Sometimes kids act out in misbehavior because they want to connect with you so before correction you should connect. Good stuff.
Managing our own emotions and actions is what allows us to feel peaceful as parents. Parenting isn't about what our child does but how we respond.
Children thrive when they feel connected and understood.
Our children's attachment to us will be influenced by what happens to us when we were young if we do not come to process and understand t hose experiences. If there's an area where you were scarred as a child you can count on one causing you grief as a parent and wounding your child in return. Essentially this teaches you to responsibly regulate your emotions.
Expressing anger while angry makes you more angry.
Threats are effective only if you're willing to follow through with them
To dissolve anger look at the hurt or feeling under it.
If you want to raise a child who can manage his behavior he first has to manage the emotions that drive that behavior, and if he wants to manage emotions he will need a safe place in your arms where he won't get shushed.
All emotional development including regulating emotions, controlling tempers, delaying gratification, and forming healthy relationships is built on the nurturing we received as infants. Our brains take shape in direct response to our parents.
Most interactions with our child fall into 1 of 3 categories: dealing with emotions, teaching appropriate behavior, and teaching skills.
More of what you didn't need to begin with can never fill your deepest desire. This seems way too profound for me to even understand.
Anxiety is usually the root of sleep issues.
When children are having a meltdown it isn't the time for teaching or discipline.
Kids have so much more energy than adults because their emotions wind them up so much and need to discharge.
Parents will often punish their kids not to regulate their behavior but to regulate our own emotions.
We teach toddlers to say no that's why they say it so much.
The author thinks a reason why there is so much depression because so many grew up getting spanked.
Positive regard is more important than positive praise.
Notes:
Sometimes kids act out in misbehavior because they want to connect with you so before correction you should connect. Good stuff.
Managing our own emotions and actions is what allows us to feel peaceful as parents. Parenting isn't about what our child does but how we respond.
Children thrive when they feel connected and understood.
Our children's attachment to us will be influenced by what happens to us when we were young if we do not come to process and understand t hose experiences. If there's an area where you were scarred as a child you can count on one causing you grief as a parent and wounding your child in return. Essentially this teaches you to responsibly regulate your emotions.
Expressing anger while angry makes you more angry.
Threats are effective only if you're willing to follow through with them
To dissolve anger look at the hurt or feeling under it.
If you want to raise a child who can manage his behavior he first has to manage the emotions that drive that behavior, and if he wants to manage emotions he will need a safe place in your arms where he won't get shushed.
All emotional development including regulating emotions, controlling tempers, delaying gratification, and forming healthy relationships is built on the nurturing we received as infants. Our brains take shape in direct response to our parents.
Most interactions with our child fall into 1 of 3 categories: dealing with emotions, teaching appropriate behavior, and teaching skills.
More of what you didn't need to begin with can never fill your deepest desire. This seems way too profound for me to even understand.
Anxiety is usually the root of sleep issues.
When children are having a meltdown it isn't the time for teaching or discipline.
Kids have so much more energy than adults because their emotions wind them up so much and need to discharge.
Parents will often punish their kids not to regulate their behavior but to regulate our own emotions.
We teach toddlers to say no that's why they say it so much.
The author thinks a reason why there is so much depression because so many grew up getting spanked.
Positive regard is more important than positive praise.