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A review by kelly_e
What Happened to You?: Conversations on Trauma, Resilience, and Healing by Bruce D. Perry, Oprah Winfrey
emotional
informative
reflective
medium-paced
4.25
Title: What Happened to You?: Conversations on Trauma, Resilience, and Healing
Author: Bruce D. Perry & Oprah Winfrey
Genre: Non Fiction Psychology
Rating: 4.25
Pub Date: April 27 2021
T H R E E β’ W O R D S
Fascinating β’ Liberating β’ Meaningful
π S Y N O P S I S
Through deeply personal conversations, Oprah Winfrey and renowned brain and trauma expert Dr. Bruce Perry offer a groundbreaking and profound shift from asking βWhatβs wrong with you?β to βWhat happened to you?β An important book about understanding people, behavior, and ourselves as it relates to traumatic experiences.
π T H O U G H T S
I am so glad I picked this up on a whim, as it's one of those books I didn't know I needed! It approaches trauma in a much more human way, as opposed to the more clinical perspective found in many self-help and psychology books. It is as helpful as it is informative, and in the process shifting our approach and mentality towards trauma. It puts forth the idea that practitioners, parents, caregivers, teachers, coaches, etc. need to provide trauma informed care on a person by person basis. It showcases how trauma changes a person at their core, not just mentally and emotionally but physically. It gave me so much to think about and reflect on, especially in relation to my own traumas.
My biggest take away from this is how as a society it's important to shift from a 'what's wrong with you?' (insinuating something to be fixed) mentality to a 'what happened to you?' mentality (insinuating something to be healed). After reading this, I looked at my own trauma in a different light. The trauma is a part, and will always be a part of who I am now, but I am not broken, but that I can heal.
I will say this one is made for audio. The conversational nature of the dialogue is best consumed by listening, pausing, and reflecting. I hope this book evokes more empathy in a world where trauma is prevalent.
π R E C O M M E N D β’ T O
β’ mental health practitioners
β’ anyone who works with kids
β’ trauma surviours
π F A V O U R I T E β’ Q U O T E S
"Now when I begin to feel overwhelmed, I pull back. I have learned to say no. When I'm around someone who drains me, I put up a barrier - a nonphysical wall that keeps that person's negative energy away. I've also created a sacred personal space, blocking out Sundays as a time of renewal, allowing myself to be with myself, allowing myself to simply be. When this time is interrupted or threatened by someone who invades my state of calm, I become irritable, anxiety-prone, and distressed about making decisions - not the person I want to be in the world. The quickest and most consistent way for me to get back to my own rhythm is to walk in nature. Just focusing on my breath, my steady heartbeat, the stillness of a tree, or the intricacy of a leaf can center me in the wholeness of all things. Music, laughter, dancing (even a party for one), knitting, cooking - finding what naturally soothes you not only regulates your heart and mind, it helps you stay open to the goodness in your and in the world."
Author: Bruce D. Perry & Oprah Winfrey
Genre: Non Fiction Psychology
Rating: 4.25
Pub Date: April 27 2021
T H R E E β’ W O R D S
Fascinating β’ Liberating β’ Meaningful
π S Y N O P S I S
Through deeply personal conversations, Oprah Winfrey and renowned brain and trauma expert Dr. Bruce Perry offer a groundbreaking and profound shift from asking βWhatβs wrong with you?β to βWhat happened to you?β An important book about understanding people, behavior, and ourselves as it relates to traumatic experiences.
π T H O U G H T S
I am so glad I picked this up on a whim, as it's one of those books I didn't know I needed! It approaches trauma in a much more human way, as opposed to the more clinical perspective found in many self-help and psychology books. It is as helpful as it is informative, and in the process shifting our approach and mentality towards trauma. It puts forth the idea that practitioners, parents, caregivers, teachers, coaches, etc. need to provide trauma informed care on a person by person basis. It showcases how trauma changes a person at their core, not just mentally and emotionally but physically. It gave me so much to think about and reflect on, especially in relation to my own traumas.
My biggest take away from this is how as a society it's important to shift from a 'what's wrong with you?' (insinuating something to be fixed) mentality to a 'what happened to you?' mentality (insinuating something to be healed). After reading this, I looked at my own trauma in a different light. The trauma is a part, and will always be a part of who I am now, but I am not broken, but that I can heal.
I will say this one is made for audio. The conversational nature of the dialogue is best consumed by listening, pausing, and reflecting. I hope this book evokes more empathy in a world where trauma is prevalent.
π R E C O M M E N D β’ T O
β’ mental health practitioners
β’ anyone who works with kids
β’ trauma surviours
π F A V O U R I T E β’ Q U O T E S
"Now when I begin to feel overwhelmed, I pull back. I have learned to say no. When I'm around someone who drains me, I put up a barrier - a nonphysical wall that keeps that person's negative energy away. I've also created a sacred personal space, blocking out Sundays as a time of renewal, allowing myself to be with myself, allowing myself to simply be. When this time is interrupted or threatened by someone who invades my state of calm, I become irritable, anxiety-prone, and distressed about making decisions - not the person I want to be in the world. The quickest and most consistent way for me to get back to my own rhythm is to walk in nature. Just focusing on my breath, my steady heartbeat, the stillness of a tree, or the intricacy of a leaf can center me in the wholeness of all things. Music, laughter, dancing (even a party for one), knitting, cooking - finding what naturally soothes you not only regulates your heart and mind, it helps you stay open to the goodness in your and in the world."
Content Warnings
Graphic: Toxic relationship, Child abuse, Domestic abuse, Physical abuse, and Emotional abuse
Moderate: Self harm, Addiction, and War
Minor: Racism
trauma, PTSD