A review by sien_verl
Sadie by Courtney Summers

dark sad medium-paced
  • Plot- or character-driven? A mix
  • Strong character development? Yes
  • Loveable characters? It's complicated
  • Diverse cast of characters? It's complicated
  • Flaws of characters a main focus? It's complicated

4.0

This book is a punch in the gut. It’s weird, it’s dark, it’s heartbreaking. It has very adult themes and it will haunt you long after you finish it.  And you know what? I loved every bit of it. 

Sadie is a nineteen year old runaway, who tries to take matters in her own hands after the police investigation of her sister Mattie’s murder doesn’t give her the answers she wanted. When Sadie suddenly disappears, her surrogate grandmother contacts radio personality West McCray, who at first doesn’t know what to do with Sadie’s story, but soon finds himself obsessed with it and turns his search for answers into a true crime podcast, The Girls. 

First thing’s first: the atmosphere in this is amazing. Sadie travels from one depressing town to another, brilliantly sketched by Summers. The desperation, the anonymity, the (in most cases) poverty, the idea of not wanting to be found and being on the run from so many things – it’s all there. It grabs you by the throat and doesn’t let go until the ending. 

At first sight, Sadie isn’t the most likeable character ever written. She’s very intelligent, even though people mistake her for stupid because of her stutter. She has a really strong urge to show people that she’s dangerous, and carries a knife with her for that reason, despite – or probably because of – her frail posture and the stutter. But the more you read about her, the more you feel for her, the more you empathize with her. You understand why she is the way she is. In her young life, she has known very little except tragedy and pain. The one person she truly loved, her sister Mattie, was brutally taken away from her. There is a huge feeling of guilt that tears Sadie apart and makes her seek revenge. Really, I don’t think any of us can blame her. Her entire story is so heartbreaking, I wish there was a way for me to fix it for her. (Let’s be honest, she would probably not even accept my help, and that’s totally okay. I just wish there was a way to show her there are still nice people left in the world). 

There’s a lot a process in this book, and while it is at times hard to swallow, it never feels overwhelming (at least not for me). It does, however, feature a lot of adult themes. A trigger warning at the beginning of the book might have been in order for some people. I realize that trigger warnings would kind of spoil a part of the mystery that this book has, but it’s very harmful for some people to read about
child abuse, drug abuse, alcohol abuse, death/murder and a lot of blood at some point in the story
. (Correct me if there was one in the English version of this, it wasn’t in the Dutch translation and I kind of missed it after finishing the book.) 

The two stories (Sadie’s and the true crime podcast) are alternated, which gives this book the right kind of drive. It’s fast paced and honestly, you just can’t put this book away, you just have to know what happened. Which leaves me to say the following of the ending: I am not satisfied with it. There are so many questions left unanswered! Look, I like an open ending, I like having to fill in certain aspects myself, but this… This story, Sadie’s story, is so haunting that it kills me not to know. Like, really, what happened?! I have to know! Actually, now that I write all of this down, I realize that horrible feeling of not knowing might truly be the point of that ending. There are so many missing children of which we never know what happened to them – are they still alive? Are they hidden somewhere? Are they dead after all? The not knowing is always the hardest part, it eats us up alive because we can’t move on. And even though I hate the feeling of not knowing what happened to her, I applaud you, Courtney Summers – because Sadie will forever live in my mind and my heart. 

Wherever you are, Sadie, I hope you found your peace. 

Expand filter menu Content Warnings