WOW IM IN PAIN, my heart hurts so badly but the ending got me crying my eyes out, this book is what i want every book that deals with mental health, romance and the reflection on society to be because this 5 star became one my new favs and is up there in my top 3 books to ever exist which says a lot but alice oseman *claps* you did again, a masterpiece with the deep dive of happiness and facades. the amount of tabbing and annotations i did for this book, my ink literally ran out lol but it’s fine cuz it’s worth annotating and using majority of my pastel tabs on this artwork. i want to start with the characters! tori is so interesting to see her perspective of how everyday life and how empty it feels constantly to think that everyone is happy around you and you lie in your bed questioning where is your own progress in life and wanting happiness but instead ur brain tells you no you’re worth nothing, even from heartstopper i’ve always loved her character and in this it does not disappoint. okay here we go my fav character to exist now is MICHAEL HOLDEN <3 🥹🫶🥰😌🫡🧎♀️✨🤭 when he first appeared i was quite sus cuz he was so sweet and outgoing but with the subtle moments with tori i was screaming so much and laughing and crying cuz i fell in love with him, he is so sweet and lovely and i want to hug him so badly :(( he was so supportive of tori and even caring about charlie during that chapter and i was crying when the last chapter appeared and he told tori how he was also suicidal but hides it behind a facade, how he helps tori and wants to be around her as she deserves real happiness and michael was there to give it to her, the songs “matilda” and “love of my life” by harry styles were just replaying in my head cuz the lyrics match so much i wrote them down on the pages but “Matilda, you talk of the pain like it's all alright/ But I know that you feel like a piece of you's dead insidе/ You showed me a power that is strong enough to bring sun to the darkest days” and esp for the last chapter “Baby, you were the love of my life, whoa/ Maybe you don't know it's lost 'til you find it/ It's not what I wanted to leave you behind/ Don't know where you'll land when you fly/ But baby, you were the love of my life.” like ????? okay *crying* *screaming* also the way he looks😌😮💨 he is so tall that’s quite lanky and has poofy brown hair with big glasses and he skates which is so cool and he’s also so nice and only swears when he’s rlly angry which in that scene with lucas confessing he started solitaire which hello pt, never trusted that guy like WHAT ARE U DOING??? u think these pranks are going to make tori love ya?? nah man🧍♂️ANYWAYS just after the adorable snow scene with michael swearing at lucas was just 🤭🏃♀️okay hi book bf yes hi AND CAN I ALSO MENTION HOW MICHAEL SAYS HE FALLS IN LOVE WITH ANYONE AND EVERYONE?! SAME BUT WOOOOOO (okay in my head i’m screaming as i write about how much i love this guy but anyways the rest of the review…) can i also talk about the chapter with the party??? the amount of screaming and crying i did for that is so questionable, why did i cry???? who knows but alice was so smart with their decisions on the solitaire lines that when it aligned to the scene i had to pause and stare out my window cuz it was exquisite! just the reflection with how society treats these scenarios and sure does ben deserve nearly beat to death?? no i don’t believe that even tho he’s awful but not through that kind of punishment. but that scene i had to pause cuz everything was getting so real and rlly reflecting on reality i had to stop cuz it was so powerful. the last chapter its obv i loved it so much i literally cried and screamed and giggled cuz i love them so much “one person can change everything.” he says “and you have changed everything for me” okay *cries more* THEM>>>>😭😭😭😭okay to wrap up this review this is clearly a 5 star and i predicted that within a few pages cuz i already fell in love with the characters esp michael i love you SO much🥺🫶 and just in general it’s a story that has a lot of reflecting for myself and others about the world around us, okay going to leave it here and think about this book forever 🫡
Graphic: Mental illness
Moderate: Bullying, Cursing, Eating disorder, Emotional abuse, Homophobia, Self harm, Fire/Fire injury, and Injury/Injury detail