A review by haloblues
Crooked Kingdom by Leigh Bardugo

adventurous emotional sad slow-paced
  • Plot- or character-driven? Character
  • Strong character development? Yes
  • Loveable characters? Yes
  • Diverse cast of characters? Yes
  • Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

5.0

I am so full of incoherent sounds and emotion. It’s been so long since I felt like this about a book. So long. In fact, since I felt this way about any piece of media in general. I’ve been forcing everyone around me to listen to my running commentary as I read, and now they’ll all have to listen to me narrating fics because five seconds after closing the book I already felt so lost without it. What am I supposed to do with my time now?

The highest compliment I can give to something I read is that it has given me ‘book hangover’ — when you finish it and you can’t bring yourself to start one of your hundred other books in your ‘to be read’ pile because you feel like you have to give it a period of respectful silence and absorb what you just experienced — and this is the first one to do that in a decent while. I loved it. Pure and simple. I’ll miss the hell out of this gang.

As for some extra notes: the twist with Wylan’s mother floored me. I’m usually pretty good at predicting twists, but I wasn’t even looking in that corner for anything surprising. I loved the little hints of the Jesper and Wylan relationship before it happened — along with Kaz and Jesper, they were my favourite dynamic in the series (though I’m also fond of Nina and Inej’s).

Just, God. This is how I want to write. The world-building, the lore and history, the geography, the characters, their development and depth, the relationships, the emotions it pulls from you. If anything I write ever makes anyone feel anything close to how I feel after reading this series, I’ll consider my life a success.

Favourite quotes:
The first mate winced. “Ghezen, Retvenko. Have you been drinking?”

“No.”

“You stink of whiskey.”

Retvenko sniffed. “Little bit whiskey.”


He had often wondered how people survived this city, but it was possible Ketterdam would not survive Kaz Brekker.


“In Ravka, there are more talented Fabrikators,” Kuwei said. “They could help.”

Nina nodded emphatically. “It’s true. Genya Safin knows poisons like no one else, and David Kostyk developed all kinds of new weapons for King Nikolai.” She glanced at Matthias. “And other things too! Nice things. Very peaceable.”


The man behind the desk wore gray scholar’s robes. His nostrils were flared so wide in effrontery that Jesper feared being sucked up one of them. “Young man—”

Jesper pointed his gun at the scholar’s chest. “Move.”

“Jesper!” his father said.

“Don’t worry, Da. People point guns at each other all the time in Ketterdam. It’s basically a handshake.”

“Is that true?” his father asked as the scholar grudgingly moved aside and they shoved the heavy desk in front of the door.

“Absolutely,” said Wylan.

“Certainly not,” said the scholar.

Jesper waved them on. “Depends on the neighborhood. Let’s go.”


“Jesper?” said a voice from beneath the nearest table.

A pretty blonde girl looked up from where she was crouched on the floor.

“Madeleine?” Jesper said. “Madeleine Michaud?”

“You said we’d have breakfast!”

“I had to go to Fjerda.”

“Fjerda?”

Jesper headed up the stairs after Wylan, then poked his head back into the reading room. “If I live, I’ll buy you waffles.”

“You don’t have enough money to buy her waffles,” Wylan grumbled.

“Be quiet. We’re in a library.”


“You barely look old enough to graduate.”

“Ketterdam was my education. And I can tell you this: Jesper never would have turned to me for help if he’d had anywhere else to go.”

“You can’t be so bad, boy,” said Colm gruffly. “You haven’t been alive long enough to rack up your share of sin.”

“I’m a quick study.”

“Can I trust you?”

“No.”

Colm took up his crumpled hat again. “Can I trust you to help Jesper through this?”

“Yes.”

Colm sighed. He looked around at all of them. Nina found herself standing up straighter. “You lot make me feel very old.”

“Spend a little more time in Ketterdam,” said Kaz. “You’ll feel ancient.”


Kaz had tapped his crow’s head cane on the flagstones of the tomb floor. “Do you know what Van Eck’s problem is?”

“No honor?” said Matthias.

“Rotten parenting skills?” said Nina.

“Receding hairline?” offered Jesper.


Matthias would be atoning for the mistakes he’d made in this life long into the next one, but he’d always believed that despite his crimes and failings, there was a core of decency inside him that could never be breached. And yet, he felt sure that if he had to spend another hour with Alys Van Eck, he might murder her just for the sake of a little quiet.


“A chemical weevil,” said Jesper. “But Wylan still hasn’t named it. My vote is for the Wyvil.”

“That’s terrible,” said Wylan.

“It’s brilliant.” Jesper winked. “Just like you.”

Wylan blushed daylily pink.

“I helped as well,” added Kuwei, looking sulky.

“He did help,” Wylan said.

“We’ll make him a plaque,” said Kaz.


Inej came to sit beside her with two cups of hot tea in hand.

“How are you this morning?” she asked. “Can you eat?”

“I don’t think so.” Nina forced herself to take a sip of tea, then said, “Thank you for what you did last night. For standing by me.”

“It was the right thing to do. I don’t want to see anyone else made a slave.”

“Even so.”

“You’re very welcome, Nina Zenik. You may repay me in the customary way.”

“Waffles?”

“Lots of them.”


“They speak quietly. They don’t engage in flirtations with every single man they meet.”

“I flirt with the women too.”

“I think you’d flirt with a date palm if it would pay you any attention.”


“Please tell me there’s something to eat.”

“You’re hungry?” said Inej.

They all goggled at Nina. She curtsied. “Yes, yes, Nina Zenik is hungry. Now will someone feed me before I’m forced to cook one of you?”

“Don’t be ridiculous,” said Jesper. “You don’t know how to cook.”


“Is this really what you want? To be a criminal? To keep bouncing from the next score to the next fight to the next near miss?”

“Honestly?” Jesper knew Wylan probably wasn’t going to like what he said next.

“It’s time,” Kaz said from the doorway.

“Yes, this is what I want,” said Jesper. Wylan looped his satchel over his shoulder, and without thinking, Jesper reached out and untwisted the strap. He didn’t let go. “But it’s not all that I want.”


“You are angry with me?” said Kuwei.

Jesper smiled. “I’m not an angry type of guy.”

“Yes, you are,” said Matthias. “Angry and frightened.”


The silos themselves were daunting, vast as sentinel gods, monuments to industry emblazoned with the Van Eck red laurel.


Jesper didn’t know if he wanted to jerk away or pull him closer.

“Just stop,” Wylan said. “Breathe.”

Wylan’s gaze was steady. Jesper couldn’t look away from that clear-water blue. He forced himself to still, inhaled, exhaled.

“Again,” Wylan said, and when Jesper opened his mouth to take another breath, Wylan leaned forward and kissed him.

Jesper’s mind emptied. He wasn’t thinking of what had happened before or what might happen next. There was only the reality of Wylan’s mouth, the press of his lips, then the fine bones of his neck, the silky feel of his curls as Jesper cupped his nape and drew him nearer. This was the kiss he’d been waiting for. It was a gunshot. It was prairie fire. It was the spin of Makker’s Wheel. Jesper felt the pounding of his heart—or was it Wylan’s?—like a stampede in his chest, and the only thought in his head was a happy, startled, Oh.


Jesper nodded sagely. “Good country air, lots of fields for … gamboling about. I grew up on a farm. It’s why I’m so tall.”

Alys frowned. “You’re a little too tall.”

“It was a really big farm.”


Kaz tilted his head, watching a gull arc above them, wings spread wide. “Tell Jesper he’s missed. Around the Slat.”

Inej raised a brow. “Around the Slat.” From Kaz that was as good as a bouquet of flowers and a heartfelt hug—and it would mean the world to Jesper.
 
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