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jedore 's review for:

My Dark Vanessa by Kate Elizabeth Russell
3.5
challenging dark emotional tense medium-paced
Plot or Character Driven: Character
Strong character development: Complicated
Loveable characters: No
Diverse cast of characters: No
Flaws of characters a main focus: Complicated

"I know I have the power to say no, but that isn’t the same as being in charge."

Kate Elizabeth Russell began writing this book when she was a teenager and spent nearly two decades writing and revising it before it was published in 2020. 

It's the story story of Vanessa, a 15 year old boarding school student whose relationship with her charismatic but predatory English teacher, Jacob Strane, alters the trajectory of her life. Flipping between two timelines—Vanessa as a teen in the early 2000s and Vanessa in her 30s grappling with the #MeToo movement—the book explores the blurred lines of memory, consent, manipulation, the impact of trauma, and Vanessa’s struggle to reconcile her perception of the relationship as a great romance with the growing recognition that it was abuse.

This is a well written but deeply difficult read—similar to Nabokov’s Lolita. It's unflinching, intimate, and sometimes brutally honest. Vanessa has a complicated inner world...at times I found it super compelling, other times extremely unsettling. The author doesn't give us a tidy or crystal-clear resolution, just like real life where the impact of trauma is lifelong. If you’re seeking a novel with neat answers or moral clarity, this isn’t it—but if you’re willing to sit with discomfort, it’s a thought-provoking read.