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A review by jacquelynn
Understanding Show, Don't Tell by Janice Hardy
4.0
At the very start I was a bit disappointed because I felt the foundations for what show, don't tell was confusing and less organized than I wanted. Specifically, the "I reached over to pick up the cup" versus "I reached over and picked up the cup" example. I realized later that this was a reasonable lesson, but I wasn't there yet and a bit lost and bored.
HOWEVER, then came these examples:
Tell
“Bob was around thirty, but he felt older from constantly running from zombies. He left the rundown hotel room he and his wife Sally had been staying in and lofted a pair of worn duffel bags into the back of an old pickup truck. He sighed and stared at what was left of their supplies. I wish I had a few more boxes of ammunition, he thought. They were headed to Amarillo, which he knew was overrun with the undead, and he didn’t want to be caught unprepared. Sally had begged him to take another route since it was so dangerous, but the distress call they’d picked up last week had come from an Amarillo radio station. Bob also knew you didn’t ignore other survivors.”
Show
“I guess thirty’s the new eighty. I sighed and rubbed my knee, hoping we had some ice in the cooler, but no such luck. I left yet another crappy hotel room and lofted my duffel bags into the back of a pickup that probably was nearly eighty. It would need parts soon, and we could use a few more boxes of ammo before we hit Amarillo. Reports said it was overrun with undead, and with our luck, we’d sure as spit break down there. Sally begged me to go round south, but that distress call we’d picked up last week had come from an Amarillo radio station. Nobody ignored survivors, not even us.”
And it blew my mind. Like, a little (!!!) popped up over my head. This was the first time in a long time that I felt really challenged by something in terms of writing and it renewed this fire in me. I flew through the rest of the book as I wanted to take this idea apart and fully GET it. I need to do a lot more practice I think before I internalize these ideas, but I am thrilled overall to have my love of writing re-vamped by this book.
HOWEVER, then came these examples:
Tell
“Bob was around thirty, but he felt older from constantly running from zombies. He left the rundown hotel room he and his wife Sally had been staying in and lofted a pair of worn duffel bags into the back of an old pickup truck. He sighed and stared at what was left of their supplies. I wish I had a few more boxes of ammunition, he thought. They were headed to Amarillo, which he knew was overrun with the undead, and he didn’t want to be caught unprepared. Sally had begged him to take another route since it was so dangerous, but the distress call they’d picked up last week had come from an Amarillo radio station. Bob also knew you didn’t ignore other survivors.”
Show
“I guess thirty’s the new eighty. I sighed and rubbed my knee, hoping we had some ice in the cooler, but no such luck. I left yet another crappy hotel room and lofted my duffel bags into the back of a pickup that probably was nearly eighty. It would need parts soon, and we could use a few more boxes of ammo before we hit Amarillo. Reports said it was overrun with undead, and with our luck, we’d sure as spit break down there. Sally begged me to go round south, but that distress call we’d picked up last week had come from an Amarillo radio station. Nobody ignored survivors, not even us.”
And it blew my mind. Like, a little (!!!) popped up over my head. This was the first time in a long time that I felt really challenged by something in terms of writing and it renewed this fire in me. I flew through the rest of the book as I wanted to take this idea apart and fully GET it. I need to do a lot more practice I think before I internalize these ideas, but I am thrilled overall to have my love of writing re-vamped by this book.