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A review by sarah42783
Confluence by S.K. Dunstall
5.0
Nefarious grey cells status: on strike (both of them).
Creativity level: abysmal.
Ability to stare at the blinking cursor on my screen: unlimited.
Just so you know, it took me more than half an hour to come up with these ↑↑ three miserable, pathetic lines. Fun, moderately erratic times ahead and stuff.
Just spent another half hour looking for an “Insert brain to continue” gif but couldn’t find one. At this rate, my great great great grandshrimps will have great great grandshrimps by the time I finish non-writing this crappy non-review non-thingie. Yay and stuff.
Okay. You Little Clueless Barnacles and I need to talkyou’re supposed to start shuddering in fear here. Thank you for your cooperation . You are still NOT reading this series. Amusing I find this NOT and itching to unleash the murderous crustaceans on you post haste I am indeed. Ergo, either pick up [b:Linesman|23604332|Linesman (Linesman, #1)|S.K. Dunstall|https://images.gr-assets.com/books/1417986744s/23604332.jpg|43205965] within the next five seconds or die deadly dead. But hey, no pressure and stuff.
Sentient spaceships and political shenanigans and Shrimptastic New Girlfriend Mine™, oh my!
The End.
Oh please, you didn’t really think I was going to let you off so easy, did you? Don’t you know me at all? I mean, it’s not because I have zero none absolutely no inspiration whatsoever that I can’tnot talk about this book for the next 10 hours and stuff.
Anyway.
Confluence is might perhaps possibly be the bestest scrumptiouest instalment in this series so far. Maybe.
Erratic interruption: oh, by the way, some people seem to think this is a trilogy, and that this book is its final instalment. Hahahahahaha. No it isn’t. Because I will not allow it and stuff. Bye now.
So. This is kinda sorta the mostest awesomest instalment in this series so far← this in case you missed the previous paragraph .
First of all, we have my somewhat socially awkward, moderately nerdish yet oddly yummy boyfriend Ean Lambert serenading impatient spaceships, ♫singing♫ his lovely derriere off to the Lines, andtrying to train training new, Ever So Slightly Arrogant and Kinda Reluctant Linesmen (ESSAaKRL™) to do the same ← if you have no idea what I’m talking about it means that you are STILL NOT READING this series and should DIE DEADLY DEAD right about now. RIP and stuff.
Second of all, we have a delicious My New Girlfriend Radko is Mine Mine Mine POV (MNGRiMMMPOV™). And that is quite delicious indeed. Because Radko is cool and Radko is awesome and Radko is super astutely clever and Radko is deliciously deadly and Radko kicks gluteus maximus and Radko is MINE. Okay, so there’s a slight chance Radko might perhaps think she may possibly be developing feelings for my boyfriend Ean Lambert. But that’s only because she hasn’t met me in theflesh exoskeleton yet and has yet to realize she needs a Certain Nefarious Being Who Shall Not Be Named (CNBWSNBN™) in her life and stuff.
Third of all, we have war and political machinations and espionage and covert operations and liars and traitors everywhereyay! and stuff. YUM.
Fourth of all, we have a slightly luscious cast of secondary and not-so-secondary characters. (If Aggravating Rossi keeps his aggravating act up he’s going to get himself snatched up and locked away in my High Security Harem in less time it takes to chop off a puny human head.)
Fifth of all, we have a fast-paced story and great sub-plots and cool action and humorous humor and dun dun dun stuff and mysterious alien technology stuff and lots of questions left unanswered ergo this CANNOT be a trilogy no no no absolutely not it cannot nope nope nope S.K. Dunstall the crustaceans are watching you so you might perhaps possibly want to start working on the next instalment bloody shrimping NOW or else…
➽ And the moral of this Hey Looks Like theWhisky Coffee IV Drip I Got Myself Hooked Up to Did Have a Reasonably Inconsequential Effect on my Ever Deficient Lazy as Fish Grey Cells Yay Go Laphroaig Lavazza and Stuff Crappy Non Review (HLLtWCIVDIGMHUtDHaRIEomEDLaFGCYGLLaSCNR™) is:
QED and stuff.
• Book 1: Linesman ★★★★
• Book 2: Alliance ★★★★★
[Pre-review nonsense]
I want to be a linesman when I grow up. Wait. No. Make that a lineswoman. Wait. No. Better make that a murderous linescrustacean instead. Because decapods in space are the deadliest, smartest, cunningest (yes, that is a word), and sexiest thing that ever was and ever will be.
See what I mean?
➽ Full Ean Lambert Might Be a Pretty Hot Line Twelve But It's His Ass-Kicking Paramour Radko I'm Locking Up in the High Security Harem and Stuff Crappy Non Review (ELMBaPHLTBIHAKPRILUiTtSHaSCNR™) to come.
Creativity level: abysmal.
Ability to stare at the blinking cursor on my screen: unlimited.
Just so you know, it took me more than half an hour to come up with these ↑↑ three miserable, pathetic lines. Fun, moderately erratic times ahead and stuff.
Just spent another half hour looking for an “Insert brain to continue” gif but couldn’t find one. At this rate, my great great great grandshrimps will have great great grandshrimps by the time I finish non-writing this crappy non-review non-thingie. Yay and stuff.
Okay. You Little Clueless Barnacles and I need to talk
Sentient spaceships and political shenanigans and Shrimptastic New Girlfriend Mine™, oh my!
The End.
Oh please, you didn’t really think I was going to let you off so easy, did you? Don’t you know me at all? I mean, it’s not because I have zero none absolutely no inspiration whatsoever that I can’t
Anyway.
Confluence is might perhaps possibly be the bestest scrumptiouest instalment in this series so far. Maybe.
Erratic interruption: oh, by the way, some people seem to think this is a trilogy, and that this book is its final instalment. Hahahahahaha. No it isn’t. Because I will not allow it and stuff. Bye now.
So. This is kinda sorta the mostest awesomest instalment in this series so far
First of all, we have my somewhat socially awkward, moderately nerdish yet oddly yummy boyfriend Ean Lambert serenading impatient spaceships, ♫singing♫ his lovely derriere off to the Lines, and
Second of all, we have a delicious My New Girlfriend Radko is Mine Mine Mine POV (MNGRiMMMPOV™). And that is quite delicious indeed. Because Radko is cool and Radko is awesome and Radko is super astutely clever and Radko is deliciously deadly and Radko kicks gluteus maximus and Radko is MINE. Okay, so there’s a slight chance Radko might perhaps think she may possibly be developing feelings for my boyfriend Ean Lambert. But that’s only because she hasn’t met me in the
Third of all, we have war and political machinations and espionage and covert operations and liars and traitors everywhere
Fourth of all, we have a slightly luscious cast of secondary and not-so-secondary characters. (If Aggravating Rossi keeps his aggravating act up he’s going to get himself snatched up and locked away in my High Security Harem in less time it takes to chop off a puny human head.)
Fifth of all, we have a fast-paced story and great sub-plots and cool action and humorous humor and dun dun dun stuff and mysterious alien technology stuff and lots of questions left unanswered ergo this CANNOT be a trilogy no no no absolutely not it cannot nope nope nope S.K. Dunstall the crustaceans are watching you so you might perhaps possibly want to start working on the next instalment bloody shrimping NOW or else…
➽ And the moral of this Hey Looks Like the
• Book 1: Linesman ★★★★
• Book 2: Alliance ★★★★★
[Pre-review nonsense]
I want to be a linesman when I grow up. Wait. No. Make that a lineswoman. Wait. No. Better make that a murderous linescrustacean instead. Because decapods in space are the deadliest, smartest, cunningest (yes, that is a word), and sexiest thing that ever was and ever will be.
See what I mean?
➽ Full Ean Lambert Might Be a Pretty Hot Line Twelve But It's His Ass-Kicking Paramour Radko I'm Locking Up in the High Security Harem and Stuff Crappy Non Review (ELMBaPHLTBIHAKPRILUiTtSHaSCNR™) to come.