A review by stwriter92
Felix Ever After by Kacen Callender

emotional hopeful lighthearted reflective medium-paced
  • Plot- or character-driven? Character
  • Strong character development? Yes
  • Loveable characters? Yes
  • Diverse cast of characters? Yes
  • Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

5.0

I was reading A Discovery of Witches but I needed to take a break from it and read something a bit more sugar sweet. Felix Ever After definitely fit the bill! I've always been a sucker for a good coming of age story and this one was absolutely what I needed. We originally got this book from our local library for my school's GSA. They have very kindly allowed us to borrow copies of LGBTQ+ young adult literature to read together and discuss and I am so glad that this was the first one we read!

The novel itself centers around a transgender man named Felix Love who is trying to navigate the perilous waters between the shallows of childhood and the uncharted seas of young adulthood. More than anything else, Felix wants to fall in love but feels deep down that he is undeserving of the experience. Sure, he has his best friend, but he is looking for a deeper connection. However, just as he is getting into the swing of things, his deadname and his old pictures pre-transition are posted up as a gallery without his permission by an anonymous bigot. On top of that, the creator of the gallery starts to send him transphobic messages on Instagram. Believing that he has found the perpetrator, he begins a quest for revenge that inadvertently lands him in a love triangle. Layered on top of this is Felix's quest inward, as well, as he questions his own identity both as an artist as well as in terms of his gender.

The novel itself was extremely sweet. I definitely had a huge grin on my face by the end! The characters were well thought out and the main characters had a good deal of depth. It was a privilege to see Felix grow as a person and begin to open up and allow himself to let go and truly be himself. Watching him peel off insecurity after insecurity and transform into a strong and confident demiboy was beautiful. I also absolutely loved that we, as the reader, never ever ever hear or discover Felix's deadname or hear about what he looked like pre-transition. I feel like that is something many trans individuals need to go through. People are always asking them about their deadnames or their lives pre-transition. They don't realize that a deadname is called a deadname for a reason. It's dead and gone. It's no longer in use. Knowing it is not necessary to knowing the individual. While I may not be a part of the trans community, a lot of my students are. Seeing them represented so honestly and beautifully was amazing!

At first, I was a little sad that we never got a resolution to the question of Felix's mother. She existed like a ghost. However, after finishing the book and truly reflecting on it, I realized that that was how it was meant to be. Not every thread of a story can be resolved. In life, there are many threads you just need to cut off and cast into the wind.
The section where Felix deleted all the emails, he said "Something I'd been holding in my chest, anger and hurt and pain, starts to fade away. It wasn't anger and hurt and pain I'd had for my mom. Though I've got plenty of that, too, this was anger an dhurt and pain I'd had for myself, for writing all those fucking emails in the first place--for refusing to let go" (327). This catharsis of letting go, shedding dead weight, and making room for the things that matter was what this novel was building up to. The finale of him rushing off the pride to find Ezra and truly feeling for the first time unadulterated joy and acceptance and love was one of the most beautiful endings I have read in a while.

Whoever you are, wherever you are in your own journey, I believe that this should be read by everyone. 
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