A review by sausome
By the Time You Read This, I'll Be Dead by Julie Anne Peters

3.0

I knew this book would be heavy -- what can I say, I like psychologically screwed up characters -- and it was. Totally. Heavy. I mean, the title gives you an idea, but reading it was another thing altogether. It addresses bullying and what it can do to a kid (i.e. make them want to kill themselves). For Daelyn, the bullying was about her weight, but she cites other kids bullied for their sexual orientation, skinny-ness, dorky-ness, etc. Bottom line, kids are mean. MEAN. I think the point about bullying is that every person is different and reacts differently to different situations. One person being bullied about being fat might suffer in school, but get over it later on, etc., while another person might be unable to tolerate it, to the point of finding death a comfort (as in this book). The adults try to act like it's no big deal -- "don't let it get to you", "let it roll off", "sticks and stones", "just words" -- but they clearly don't get it.

I found the bits about the pro-suicide website pretty disturbing, as I'm sure was the point. The "how-to" bits in particular ... However, this book isn't going to present new ideas to anyone who has thought about suicide. You can easily look up ways to die on the internet, the rub comes with the "what if you don't succeed" bits, which are totally psychologist methods, I can tell you. They subtly scare you away and leave you searching for some magically pain-free, 100% guaranteed death. I think the author highlights this point by having Daelyn in this neck brace, sucking down meals through a straw (after they've been blended to a nasty pulp), unable to speak, due to a failed suicide attempt with toxic corrosive chemicals. Can you imagine?!

The end is open -- does she go through with it or not?

All in all, I liked the book -- not the best thing ever, but good enough. Also, Julie Anne Peters is pretty amazing.