Take a photo of a barcode or cover
jaz_loves_books 's review for:
I Never Thought of It That Way
by Monica Guzmán
Listened to this on audiobook! I picked it up because one of my work mentor figures mentioned she was reading it.
I give this book a middle-of-the road rating, because though it emphasizes important points about making bridging conversations with people, I didn't find it super groundbreaking or find much in it that I didn't already know.
The first part of this book discussing SOS (Sorting, Othering, Siloing) could be boiled down to a principle I learned from Tyler Merritt and his book - it's that “proximity creates empathy.”
It was interesting learning about some of the sociology studies done on why humans love to perform SOS, but I learned more about the science of human behavior in a memoir like What My Bones Know, which was just so incredibly well-researched, it kind of blew my mind haha.
Here are some useful reminders this book gave me:
(1) When talking to someone, don't focus on winning, focus on understanding.
(2) Someone on the opposite side of an issue as me isn't necessarily against my most important values. They might just be prioritizing different ones.
(3) Just because someone is less skilled or practiced in articulating their arguments does not mean their opinions are less valid.
(4) Maintaining bridges is more important than crossing them. More understanding can develop over time if these bridges with other people are not burned down.
I think what this book is trying to do is tough. It presents practical tips for having curious conversations, which in turn does improve the relationships in one's life, and I think that's important. However, its language suggests really wanting to affect positive systemic change, and affecting change on these small individual/personal levels simply does not achieve that.
This is a good introduction for someone who has perhaps never considered having more curious and empathetic conversations, or stopped to remember that people on “the other side” are still people too.
For me, I've simply read books that have inspired me more. INTOITW isn't as practically useful as How to Keep House While Drowning, it's not as well-researched as What My Bones Know, and it's not as moving as I Take My Coffee Black. I've seen tons of shorter thought pieces that have basically summarized what INTOITW is trying to get at. Take that as you will. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
I give this book a middle-of-the road rating, because though it emphasizes important points about making bridging conversations with people, I didn't find it super groundbreaking or find much in it that I didn't already know.
The first part of this book discussing SOS (Sorting, Othering, Siloing) could be boiled down to a principle I learned from Tyler Merritt and his book - it's that “proximity creates empathy.”
It was interesting learning about some of the sociology studies done on why humans love to perform SOS, but I learned more about the science of human behavior in a memoir like What My Bones Know, which was just so incredibly well-researched, it kind of blew my mind haha.
Here are some useful reminders this book gave me:
(1) When talking to someone, don't focus on winning, focus on understanding.
(2) Someone on the opposite side of an issue as me isn't necessarily against my most important values. They might just be prioritizing different ones.
(3) Just because someone is less skilled or practiced in articulating their arguments does not mean their opinions are less valid.
(4) Maintaining bridges is more important than crossing them. More understanding can develop over time if these bridges with other people are not burned down.
I think what this book is trying to do is tough. It presents practical tips for having curious conversations, which in turn does improve the relationships in one's life, and I think that's important. However, its language suggests really wanting to affect positive systemic change, and affecting change on these small individual/personal levels simply does not achieve that.
This is a good introduction for someone who has perhaps never considered having more curious and empathetic conversations, or stopped to remember that people on “the other side” are still people too.
For me, I've simply read books that have inspired me more. INTOITW isn't as practically useful as How to Keep House While Drowning, it's not as well-researched as What My Bones Know, and it's not as moving as I Take My Coffee Black. I've seen tons of shorter thought pieces that have basically summarized what INTOITW is trying to get at. Take that as you will. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯