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A review by iamcupid_
If I Was Your Girl by Meredith Russo
medium-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? Yes
5.0
Honestly, I was torn between rating this 4, 4.5, or 5 stars because I never thought I'd like this kind of book; not because of the trans part but because I have a love-hate relationship with contemporary YA novels. I tried to find something I didn't like, and though I did find things I didn't like: Grant turning out to be a transphobic asshole, as the main one. I loved 99% of the book. I also didn't want to rate this 5 stars because I'm trying to uphold my reputation of being hard to please, but I loved this so fuck it.
This was such an amazing read. I loved every inch of Amanda, inside and out. I found myself relating to her in some kind of way, trying to be boring to fit in. She didn't deserve any of the bad things she went through but I'm happy she had good things, like her mother (especially her mother, which for some reason I keep picturing as a milf? sorry, Meredith Russo, for sexualizing one of your characters), her father (who wasn't good but he tried and is trying his best), her friends (not Bee though, I trusted her but she stabbed me and Amanda in the back), her support group, esp Virginia (which exuded icon energy from the start), and everything else but mostly the people in her life who accepts her.
I'll always feel bad Grant and Amanda didn't end up together (even though it was an open ending, I'd like to think they didn't). I even thought Grant reacting that way was a dream, like Amanda hallucinated Grant saying all those mean things at her at homecoming but didn't actually, then I realized it was real. Grant was transphobic, even if he wasn't actually; even if he was just surprisedso he reacted that way.
So, now, headcanon Amanda ended up together with the boy he met at the bus at the start. He gave an arrogant energy (which he probably is, considering he only talked about himself when he talked to her) but maybe he was that way because he was nervous with talking to her? We'll never know.
This was such an amazing read. I loved every inch of Amanda, inside and out. I found myself relating to her in some kind of way, trying to be boring to fit in. She didn't deserve any of the bad things she went through but I'm happy she had good things, like her mother (especially her mother, which for some reason I keep picturing as a milf? sorry, Meredith Russo, for sexualizing one of your characters), her father (who wasn't good but he tried and is trying his best), her friends (not Bee though, I trusted her but she stabbed me and Amanda in the back), her support group, esp Virginia (which exuded icon energy from the start), and everything else but mostly the people in her life who accepts her.
I'll always feel bad Grant and Amanda didn't end up together (even though it was an open ending, I'd like to think they didn't). I even thought Grant reacting that way was a dream, like Amanda hallucinated Grant saying all those mean things at her at homecoming but didn't actually, then I realized it was real. Grant was transphobic, even if he wasn't actually; even if he was just surprisedso he reacted that way.
So, now, headcanon Amanda ended up together with the boy he met at the bus at the start. He gave an arrogant energy (which he probably is, considering he only talked about himself when he talked to her) but maybe he was that way because he was nervous with talking to her? We'll never know.
Content Warnings
Graphic: Bullying, Deadnaming, and Suicide attempt
Minor: Rape