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A review by nipomuki
If Someone Says "You Complete Me," RUN!: Whoopi's Big Book of Relationships by Whoopi Goldberg
4.0
I am an unapologetic fan of the Romance genre, so maybe it sounds strange how much I appreciated and enjoyed this book ;-)
Whoopi Goldberg is a heroine of mine and has had an important impact on my life, mostly through her movies. I only recently realized that she comes from Stand Up Comedy, although it made instant sense when I heard it. If you like her, go listen to her interview on „David Tennant does a podcast“. It is the most amazing thing ever. But I digress.
I have always loved romance in books, while being very realistic if not cynical in my real life. Maybe my dad being a relationship counselor and me reading some of the literature that went with that is responsible for this seeming dissonance. And maybe lots of people are the same, taking romance in books or other media as the fantasy they mostly are. And I love fantasy, romantic or as a genre, so that fits.
Anyhow, when I was 17 I took a hard look at the intimate relationships around me and decided this was not for me. It just did not seem worth the hassle. My parents did have a pretty decent relationship, where they grew and supported each other, but I also saw some big downsides, especially for my mom, who was mostly stay at home and not independent and cool like her friends from back when she was working.
I did change my mind at 18 and am still with that „boy“, so it was not a lasting decision. But I do think that being as critical of (romantic) relationships as I was helped me actually having a lasting one. I thought about what I wanted in life, and how I felt towards certain expectations. I was very young, but I am kind of proud that I at least tried to reflect myself and our relationship.
Coming back to the book: Whoopi tells us some truths about relationships and how they can or cannot work for you, about decisions you have to make and questions you have to ask, mostly yourself. I totally agree with her that honesty with yourself and with potential partners is important, and I really connect with her decision to live by herself and with just the cat. It is very similar to what I had planned for myself. And I still miss it sometimes, just being responsible for myself, not beholden to anyone.
Don‘t get me wrong, I love my partner, I enjoy being with him, I miss him like crazy when he is not around, especially at night. But I do not see me doing it again, if for whatever reason this ends someday. It is a huge amount of work, and I am not a very flexible person ;-)
Whoopi Goldberg is a heroine of mine and has had an important impact on my life, mostly through her movies. I only recently realized that she comes from Stand Up Comedy, although it made instant sense when I heard it. If you like her, go listen to her interview on „David Tennant does a podcast“. It is the most amazing thing ever. But I digress.
I have always loved romance in books, while being very realistic if not cynical in my real life. Maybe my dad being a relationship counselor and me reading some of the literature that went with that is responsible for this seeming dissonance. And maybe lots of people are the same, taking romance in books or other media as the fantasy they mostly are. And I love fantasy, romantic or as a genre, so that fits.
Anyhow, when I was 17 I took a hard look at the intimate relationships around me and decided this was not for me. It just did not seem worth the hassle. My parents did have a pretty decent relationship, where they grew and supported each other, but I also saw some big downsides, especially for my mom, who was mostly stay at home and not independent and cool like her friends from back when she was working.
I did change my mind at 18 and am still with that „boy“, so it was not a lasting decision. But I do think that being as critical of (romantic) relationships as I was helped me actually having a lasting one. I thought about what I wanted in life, and how I felt towards certain expectations. I was very young, but I am kind of proud that I at least tried to reflect myself and our relationship.
Coming back to the book: Whoopi tells us some truths about relationships and how they can or cannot work for you, about decisions you have to make and questions you have to ask, mostly yourself. I totally agree with her that honesty with yourself and with potential partners is important, and I really connect with her decision to live by herself and with just the cat. It is very similar to what I had planned for myself. And I still miss it sometimes, just being responsible for myself, not beholden to anyone.
Don‘t get me wrong, I love my partner, I enjoy being with him, I miss him like crazy when he is not around, especially at night. But I do not see me doing it again, if for whatever reason this ends someday. It is a huge amount of work, and I am not a very flexible person ;-)