A review by stardust_heidi
Long Live the Elf Queen by J.M. Kearl

Did not finish book. Stopped at 65%.
Okay. This book. Look, I tried. I really did. I pushed onward to 65%, but I just couldn't take anymore of it. I really enjoyed the first book, so when BookishBox had their sale for the sequel, I ordered it. Since book 1 was still mostly fresh in my mind, I decided to read book 2 before too much time passed. REGRET. I REGRET ALL OF IT. 

Where do I even start? First of all, the book needs about 3 more rounds of editing. So many grammatical mistakes. I don't know what happened to the characters in this book, but they didn't feel the same at all. The dialogue was some of the most cringe-worthy nonsense I've ever read. It was so painful. I think it was supposed to come off as fun banter, but it was just cringy. All kinds of "humping" and weird insults and also berry/fruit euphemisms that made me want to throw my kindle. Tifapine is...to be honest, I don't really understand why she's still in the book. It's a constant repetition with her saying stupid shit and being dramatic. It's cute the first few times; 500 pages later, whyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy.

I also felt like nothing really important happened in the 65% I read beyond Layala and Thane reuniting. And then....It's just traveling from one place to another. The whole sirens at the lake thing felt super misplaced. I don't know. Was there a point to it beyond an opportunity to kill a bunch of creatures? I've read some other reviews and ultimately decided that I just don't care enough to know what happens. Maybe I'll ask a friend lmao. 

Oh, and one more thing. The author's word choices and phrasing throughout the book was either super painful (in the cringy sense) or almost offensive. She called Fella (the captain on the lake) "deranged" just because she lived to a different tune than others and had her crew of women. Mmmmkay. There were some other poorly used phrases to indicate unstable mental health or quirky characters, and it just rubbed me the wrong way.

I'm really bummed I wasted all this time reading a book that I ultimately decided to DNF. But y'all. I couldn't do it.